House MD
by JustPlugMeIn
Summary: In a world where Wilson isn't dying of cancer, Cuddy is still Dean of medicine, Taub, Thirteen, Chase and Foreman are House's team and House isn't being sent back to prison, Gregory House must learn to step up and take responsibility for someone that isn't himself
1. Intro

In a world where Wilson isn't dying of cancer, Cuddy is still Dean of medicine, Taub, Thirteen, Chase and Foreman are House's team and House isn't being sent back to prison…

"House, are you going to get that?"

A loud knock at the door woke Gregory house from him slumber but he made no move to get up.

"HOUSE!" Three more knocks and Wilson, who was staying over due to a late night hockey match on television, decided he couldn't ignore it any longer. House listened to his best friend grunt and grumble as he stomped loudly across the apartment to answer the door. The person knocked again. "I'M COMING!" Wilson roared before grumbling "it's half four in the morning!"

Grinning to himself, House sat up and turned on his lamp before staring at his half-filled bottle of Vicodin pills as he massaged his thigh. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been but it was enough to make him wince every time he moved his leg. He popped open the pills and tipped one, instead of his usual two, onto his palm and threw it into his mouth before chasing it down with a gulp of water.

"House, I think you'd better come out here." Wilson's tone wasn't angry anymore, it was confused, and so House hauled himself up from his mattress, grabbed his cane, and limped from his bedroom and into the living room.

"What" he asked "are the patients coming here now?"

"No" Wilson replied slowly "not by definition but I think one of your hookers left you a present."

House frowned, Wilson had his back to him and was refusing to turn around "is it one of those vibrating rabbits? I hope not, I already have four." He walked around the couch, intrigued as to why Wilson was acting so strange, only to find that his best friend was staring in confusion at something. "Ok" House grinned when he spotted the basket on the arm of the sofa "I'm sure that, as Christmas is two months away, you haven't ordered your hamper just yet."

"There's a note" Wilson stated, passing a dirty slip of paper over to his friend.

Hesitantly, House took the note and unfolded it; "House" he read out loud "it's time for you to man up and take responsibility of your actions. Don't bother trying to find me, you'll only be wasting your time." If this was some kind of joke that Wilson was playing on him, it definitely wasn't very funny. "Wilson, this isn't funny" he stated.

"It's not me!" Wilson told him.

Gregory House was stumped. He stared at the basket before tugging on a free corner of the bundled up blanket inside to reveal a tiny sleeping baby with brown hair. He jumped back as though he'd been electrocuted. "What is that?!" He exclaimed in shock.

"Well" Wilson looked down at the baby and frowned "now, I'm not a genius here, House, so don't take my word for it, ok? But I _think_ that this could quite possibly be your baby."


	2. Part 1

"Hold him."

"No."

"Hold him!"

"No!"

"House!" Wilson was holding the baby out to House who was refusing to take the child. "I'm going to let go of him in a minute and it'll be your fault if you don't catch him!"

"You're the one holding him" House argued irritably "how would it be _my _fault?"

"One…"

"I'm not holding him, Wilson."

"Two…"

"Wilson!"

"Three…"

"Wilson, I-" Wilson loosened his grasp on the baby, not enough for him to fall but just enough to make House reach out and catch him. Wilson let go and folded his arms, smirking, as House stood there holding the child as though it was a nuclear bomb. "That was a cheap trick" House growled "take him back!"

"You need to support his head!" Wilson told him firmly in a voice that told him to do what he said…or else.

House gave up trying to give the boy back to Wilson and held him in a way that said 'this baby may or may not explode at any second but at least I'm holding him correctly.'

"We need to get some supplies" Wilson sighed.

"Why?" House frowned "I'm not keeping it!"

"You are for tonight and then, tomorrow, you can run a paternity test. Oh" Wilson grabbed his coat "and by 'we' I meant _me_." He barrelled out of the apartment before House could even think about reaching for his cane.

Greg looked at the slammed door for a moment before turning his gaze to the baby. He held the child up in front of his face and narrowed his eyes before sniffing loudly. "Ew" he muttered.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"Did you do a lumbar puncture?" House asked his team as he walked into his office to find Taub, Thirteen, Chase and Foreman sitting around the table all looking just about ready to pass out.

"Uh, yes, we did" Foreman replied looking up at House in confusion "and a CT scan along with a test ruling out sarcoidosis and amyloidosis. What are you doing here?"

"Something came up" replied House "Wilson's sorting it out."

"What?" Thirteen asked, eyeing the rather prominent bulge beneath her bosses leather biker jacket "House, what on earth do you have-"

"Run a test for meningitis, if that comes back negative then do an MRI. Thirteen," he said as his team pushed out their chairs and started to rise from them "need you for a moment please, in my office."

"What do you need?" Thirteen asked as she followed House through the glass door and stood with her arms folded as House began pulling off his jacket.

"I need you to do two blood tests, one on me and one on junior."

Thirteen frowned "why do you want me to take blood from your penis? It's the same blood that runs everywhere else in your body."

"HAHAHA" House laughed sarcastically "I just want you to touch me and that seemed like a good enough excuse. No, I'm not asking you to take blood from little Greg…even though I wouldn't actually describe him as _little_." He turned around to face her with his hands planted on his hips. Strapped to his chest, with duct tape, was a sleeping baby.

Thirteen stared at the child in shock; she was used to her boss's pranks and whatnot but this was new. "House, why is there a baby stuck to your chest?"

"He's mine, apparently" House replied "need to do a paternity test for confirmation though."

"But-" Thirteen blinked at him "you used duct tape!"

House sighed loudly "fine, I'll do it myself, just keep the Motley Crew _away_ from the lab." And, without a second look, he sauntered out of his office, zipping his jacket back over the baby.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"House" Wilson called as he let himself back into House's apartment "I'm back; I brought diapers, formula, bottles and some extra clothes." He dumped his key on the table, beside the door, "House!"

It didn't take a genius to work out that the apartment was empty.

Wilson sighed, letting the bags drop to the floor with a dull thump. Gregory House was renowned to disappearing which didn't really matter because he was only ever responsible for himself but now he'd disappeared _with _a baby. He took out his cell, hit speed dial, and held it to his ear.

"_I might be home late tonight, sweetie, don't wait up_" came the familiar gruff tone of his best friend as the line connected.

"House, where are you?"

"_Ah, it's so sweet that you're worried._"

"I'm serious, House. Don't make me call Cuddy."

"_But mom!_"

"You're in pathology aren't you?"

"_Uhm…no._"

"How did you get there?" Wilson groaned and closed his eyes "don't tell me that you took your motorbike!"

"_Ok, I didn't take my bike, I- Hey, what are you guys doing in here? I told you to do an MRI._"

_"_House…_"_

_"No, don't touch that; what are doing? Stop it-" _the line went dead.

"Damn it!" Wilson cursed before grabbing the bags and his keys before hurrying back out of the front door.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"I told you to keep them _away_ from the lab!" House shouted at Thirteen.

"I _tried_" she snapped back "but Forman wanted-"

House growled loudly "who's in charge here; is it Foreman?"

"No but-"

"I am in charge so you listen to me and I told you to do an MRI!"

"What are you hiding, House?" Chase asked, staring at his boss with raised eyebrows "you don't normally blow a gasket when we try to kill two birds with one stone which means that you're doing something that you don't want us to know about. What are you hiding?"

House stared at his team one by one; Foreman was standing with his arms crossed trying not to look interested but failing dismally, Taub had both hands in the pockets of his white lab coat waiting for House to come clean, Chase had his arms crossed with his eyebrows still raised and Thirteen hand one hand over her mouth as she tried to hide her smile. "None of your damn business" he told them roughly "now go to do your job."

"Can't" Foreman smiled "we don't have a case; we just discharged our patient. He was faking."

"Of course he was faking!" House snapped. "Go find another case."

"We have another case" Taub smiled "you. We know that you dosed the guy and now we want to know why."

House stared at Taub for a moment before sighing "ok, you've got me; I'm testing my blood with the blood of the baby, I have under my jacket, to prove whether or not I'm the father."

Foreman laughed, Chase let out a snort and Taub smirked. "Yeah, right, House" Foreman shook his head "look, just tell us _why_ you're in here and we'll leave you alone."

"Like you'll ever leave me alone" he growled before unzipping his jacket and showing his team the, still sleeping, baby he was hiding beneath it.

They were all stunned. "You were actually telling the truth." Foreman frowned.

"Come _on_" Taub rolled his eyes "it's a doll! He's just screwing with us." He walked forward and went to touch the child.

"Hey!" House twisted his body away from Taub, placing a hand on the back of the baby's head as he did so "no poking the baby; what are you, _four_?"

"Did you already do the test?" Thirteen asked, still smiling.

House shook his head but, before he could open his mouth, Chase jumped in. "So what you told us is actually true?"

"Yes" he nodded.

"That this baby could actually be yours?"

"Yes" House repeated "I thought that your lack of hair would improve your hearing not impair it further."

"So you didn't steal him from maternity?"

House sighed dramatically "Yes, I stole him from maternity; quick, call the cops!"

Chase laughed and shook his head, suddenly looking very cocky instead of confused "my, my, House, you're in trouble."

"I'll help you with the samples" Thirteen volunteered "you'll need to get the baby out of the…" she frowned, eying the layers of duct tape he attaching the baby to his shirt "tape."

"Why?" House frowned "you only need to swab his mouth."

"Yes, but I don't think he should stay in there much longer." She replied as she got a pair of scissors and carefully snipped the baby free and peeled him away from House. She gazed at the baby for a moment before saying "I think you're in the clear, House, he's cute."

"Oh ha, ha" he rolled his eyes "do your job and keep the comments to yourself."

"Fine" she passed the baby to Chase, without giving him much of a choice, before going to collect a cotton swab. "I assume you can take your own DNA."

The baby woke up as soon as Thirteen probed his gums with the swab and began to scream. Chase, never really having been around children long enough to know how to console them looked very uncomfortable. "Oh, give him here" Taub sighed as he took the baby, cradled him and began to make hushing noises as he swayed. "What?" He frowned as the baby quietened down "Sophie and Sophia taught me a lot."

"Test will be done in an hour" Thirteen stated.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

Wilson found House in the lab, as he'd guessed he would, with his team. "There you are" he sighed, thrusting the bags at House. "Is it much to ask for you to stay in one place for thirty minutes?"

"Depends how much you're offering me."

"Did you run the test?"

"It's cooking right now" House told him "should be done in a few minutes."

"So, Wilson" Foreman started "House is only telling us half of the story which we're not really inclined to believe. I assume, what with the supplies, that you were with him when he acquired said baby."

Wilson nodded and sighed "it's quite sad really; House ran over his mother and her dying wish was for him to take care of the baby."

"Seriously?" Taub asked looking at House in shock.

"You know what shocks me?" House asked in annoyance "is not the fact that you think I'm capable of running a woman over but the fact that you believe that I would actually respect a dead woman's wishes."

"Doorstep baby" Wilson finally told them "the knock on the door woke me up and-"

"_You_ were sleeping at House's apartment?" Stated Taub.

"Course he was" replied House in mock shock "we've been dogging each other for months! I thought you guys knew?"

"Late hockey game" Wilson glared at House.

"Oh, come on, Honey" House pouted "I thought we'd talked about this? Our relationship will never be able to progress if you let me think that you're ashamed of sucking my dick."

Wilson blushed furiously and rolled his eyes just as a machine beeped. Foreman rushed over to the machine before House could get there and grabbed the paper that had just printed. He laughed in disbelief as he looked up at House and said "congratulations, you're the father of a beautiful bouncing baby boy."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys...just to say that I'm not American, I'm from England, which means that I won't be perfect with some stuff but I'm trying to do the best I can because I know how annoying it is. I read HP ff and it gets on my nerves when people write in American...it's mum, not mom! Anyways, just let me know if I screw anything up.<strong>

**Just in case I do, here's a few of words that I may slip up on accidentally:**

**Dummy - Pacifier **

**Nappy - Diaper**

**Buggy/pram - Stroller**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Don't forget to R&R**


	3. Part 2

"Blue eye looks into blue eye as House and his unfortunate offspring prepare for battle" Chase announced ominously. He was stood between House, who was sitting on the floor of his office, and the baby, who was being held up by Wilson. "Is the formula heated?"

"The formula is heated" Taub stated, holding up two ready-made bottles.

Chase nodded his head once before announcing his next instructions "pass the red bottle to Team House." Taub handed the clear bottle with a red elastic band to Thirteen. "Pass the blue bottle to Team Baby" he handed the other bottle, with a blue elastic band, to Foreman. "Captains, please place the bottles upon the marks on the floor." Two feet opposite both men was a white dot, drawn with chalk, marked on the carpet. Thirteen set her bottle on the one closest to House and Foreman on the one closest to Wilson. "To win this race you must finish your formula before your opponent; as team baby is at a slight disadvantage, considering that the contestant is only-" Chase paused for a minute before turning to House "how old _is _your baby?"

House, who'd had is game face on, replied "stop trying to distract me, it won't work; once I'm in the zone, I'm _in_ the zone."

"Seriously" Chase pressed.

Sighing, House rolled his eyes before turning to Chase with his jaw slack "I don't know, why don't you chop off a limb and see how many rings he has?"

"That's trees" Taub pointed out.

"Well I _know _that" House replied as he turned in exasperation to Taub. "His size, weight and inability to support his own head suggests he's around two to three weeks." He turned back to Chase "can we do this now?"

"Right" Chase cleared his throat and, with the same ominous tone, continued where he'd left off. "Considering that Team Baby's contestant is only two and a half weeks old-" Chase grinned at House "I met you half way" he winked before frowning at the murderous expression on House's face and, once again, continuing "his opponent must not only _finish_ his formula but keep it in your body for at least five minutes, this means no shitting and no puking for _at least_ five minutes, Team House; if the formula is not kept down then they forfeit the prize. The loser must change the baby's diaper! Team House, are you ready?"

House stared darkly into the baby's face as he said "ready!"

"Team Baby, are you ready?"

Wilson tucked the baby into the crook of his arm and nodded as he stared, in determination, at House. "Ready." He confirmed.

"Then grab your bottles, it's feeding time!"

House lunged for his bottle; he grabbed it and was almost halfway through his bottle before Wilson had even coaxed the baby to eat. By the time the baby had finished one quarter of the bottle, House had sucked down the last drop and tossed the bottle to one side.

Everyone watched in anticipation as House sat against the wall, the spent bottle on the floor. He looked sluggish and pale but his game face never wavered as he watched the baby slowly finish his bottle.

"Two minutes to go till you're clear!" Chase announced.

He was going to win! House smirked to himself. The formula tasted like dirt but he felt absolutely- oh god, what was that?

Sweat formed on House's forehead as he clenched his butt cheeks together. He was _not_ going to lose to Wilson.

"One minute!"

His stomach bubbled menacingly and House continued sweating as he tried to keep whatever was trying to escape in until he couldn't hold it anymore and, with a noise that started off sounding like a mouse being squashed and ended in a rumble so loud that he could have sworn the windows in his office shook, House farted.

He laughed in relief. Despite the odour that had just issued from his arse, he was relieved that nothing more than gas had just escaped.

"Ten seconds!" Chase choked, holding his sleeve over his nose.

House could have won, in fact he _would_ have won…if he hadn't have laughed so hard that, at just three more seconds to go, he projectile vomited all over Chase's shoes.

"And the winner is, Team Baby!" Foreman announced for Chase, who was trying to get his shoes off before the sick leaked into his socks.

"What on _earth _is going on in here?" Cuddy yelled over the laughter of House's team and the groans that were coming from House. "And what the _hell_ is that smell?" She stared down at House, who was sprawled on the floor with his eyes closed and his mouth slack. "What's wrong with House?"

"A little internal disagreement with baby formula" Taub told her, smirking down at his boss "oh, and the smell is a mixture of his fart and his barf…but mostly it was his fart."

"House" she sighed "get up." When he made no effort to move she rolled her eyes and nudged him with her shoe "I'm not kidding, House; you owe me clinic hours." Cuddy frowned when he didn't respond again. She was used to him ignoring her but he would never miss the opportunity to stare up her skirt.

House grunted before heaving himself up, just enough, to vomit again.

"Who drugged House?" She looked around the room at his team before she spotted Wilson, who was still feeding the baby. "Wilson, why do you have a baby? Wait" she sighed before Wilson could answer "that can wait, I want to know _who_ did _what_ to House, _now_!"

"Uhm" Taub stepped forward "I may have laced his formula with ipecac."

Cuddy stared at him incredulously before shaking her head "you _idiot_!" She shouted at him "have you forgotten that House is the _only_ doctor in this hospital that I can trust to actually come up with an accurate diagnosis?"

"It wasn't a lot!" He protested as House vomited again, groaned and then rolled in it.

"How much is 'not a lot'?" She asked venomously.

"Well, I may have doubled the recommended dose…and then slipped."

"Go home" Cuddy instructed Taub "get out of my site before I fire you!" She watched Taub scurry from the room before kneeling down beside house "Foreman, Chase, help me get him up; Thirteen, get a wheelchair and Wilson, for God's sake, give the baby back to maternity _before_ they report him missing!"

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

House became all too aware that someone was staring at him, though he couldn't work out why that would be when he lives and sleeps alone…mostly.

The sound of smacking lips hit his ears next, this annoyed him. The only person who smacked their lips whilst eating, that he knew, was Wilson.

"Wilson" he growled, before opening his eyes and seeing Wilson sitting in a chair beside his bed with his feet propped up on the mattress.

"Hope you don't mind that I ate your lunch" Wilson told him "it felt odd sitting in the cafeteria without you there to steal my food."

"So you came to steal mine?"

Wilson nodded "yep."

"What daft idiot poisoned me?"

"Taub."

"Oh he is _so_…" House thought about it for a moment; he was going to say fired but the guy had stooped to his level when it came to playing dirty and that _always _puts him in a good mood "_not_ fired. Ipecac, I assume?" Wilson nodded "I hope I made a sufficient mess."

"You did. By the time we managed to get you out of your office, you were exploding from _both_ ends."

House grinned to himself and nodded. "Impressive, remind me to give Taub a raise."

"You managed to skip out on junior's first nappy change, congratulations."

"I don't know what pleases me more, making a mess or avoiding a mess" House grinned even wider at Wilson who just raised his eyebrows at him.

Wilson frowned at him for a moment, watching as the expression on his friend's face turned to deep concentration and then to relief. "Oh, _God_" he sighed, working out what House had just done "you just shat yourself, didn't you?"

"They're called adult diapers for a reason, Wilson" House replied "gonna need to get some if I explode every time I sneeze."

"You're disgusting!"

"Oh tell me something that I don't already know. _Nurse_" He called "clean up on isle four!" A pretty young nurse came into the room looking as though she'd just been asked to murder her children. "Oh, don't look like that; you know you've always wanted an excuse to touch me inappropriately."

Wilson shook his head "_behave_ or they'll make _me _do it."

"Make you?" House questioned "you've wanted to touch me inappropriately for longer than she has!" The nurse began to remove the blankets that covered him and House grinned at Wilson "now, unless you want an intense case of Penis envy, I suggest that you leave."

"House, what are you going to do about the baby? I checked the basket again…he's officially yours. The paperwork is all there." Wilson asked as soon as he was allowed to go back into the room.

"Did you at least find out his name?"

"Eric Idle" Wilson nodded "though I think you might want to change that."

"Really?" House frowned.

"_No_ you idiot! His name is Benjamin."

House screwed up his face "well that's _boring_." He looked around "where is _Benjamin_?"

"With Cuddy" grunted Wilson. "Who's the mother, you must know who she is!"

"It doesn't matter" House replied.

"Of course it does! She has your baby and then abandons him on your doorstep! We need to find her and give him back!"

"She's dead!" He shouted. "I searched for her, found her name in this morning's obituary."

Wilson seemed too stunned to speak; he wasn't sure whether to feel sorry for House or worried for the baby. "What are you going to do?"

"Hmm, I don't know" House shrugged "I might take the boy on as my own; you know, raise him as though he's my own flesh and blood."

"He _is _your own flesh and blood" pointed out Wilson.

"Says who?"

"Says the paternity test you took at five o'clock this morning!" Wilson squinted at House "look, you need to step up, House; this baby is your son. How does that make your feel?"

House pretended to think for a moment before answering "all warm and cuddly and squishy."

"I'm being serious."

"I don't know" House finally admitted "I want to do the right thing but-" he sighed and shook his head "I don't want to screw it up."

"Well, you have me to help; Cuddy too and I'm sure that your team will help you as well. It'll be a huge change but I think that the change will do you good."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

After being sufficiently rehydrated, House was discharged; he wasn't, however, any better. The side effects of the ipecac had worn off somewhat but not entirely. Every five or so minutes, House had to make a mad dash for the bathroom.

"Do you think I should charge Taub for the adult diapers I'm gonna have to buy?" House asked his team through the door of the stall. "Last thing I want is a smelly explosion when I cough in my sleep."

"Ew" he heard someone mutter.

"If I wanted your opinion, _Thirteen_, I'd have asked for it. Now-" he paused for a moment and grunted, causing his team to groan loudly as a new, unpleasant smell, wafted from his stall "who wants to give me a ride home?"

No one answered immediately. "Fine" Chase finally replied "I will, if it means that you take the smell with you."

"Don't worry about that" House replied, finishing up and flushing "I bagged a sample and hid it in the office just for you."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"_Cuddy, I need you._"

"I'm not going to change your diaper, House"

"_It's not my diaper that needs changing!" _House snapped back, yelling over the sound of the screams of an irate baby_. "I'm running out of duct tape!_"

Lisa Cuddy frowned as she swapped her cell to her left ear "why are you running out of duct tape?"

"_I've got a leak_"

"House, I'm not-"

"_Oh my God, no, Benjamin, no, don't do that!_"

"House, what's going on?"

"_No, no, no- aaahh...you little shit!_"

Cuddy waited for a moment or two, listening to House's groans on the other end of the phone. "House, what's going on?" She repeated "House?"

"_It's all going wrong!_" The Doctor yelled "_Oh my god!_"

"I'm on my way." She sighed and hung up "Rachel, sweetie, we're going to see House."

Rachel, now five, grinned widely as she leapt up off the couch and ran to put her shoes on.

When Cuddy arrived at House's apartment, it was silent. She knocked on the door but, when no one answered, she tried the handle and found that the door was unlocked; inside was a mess of empty boxes and plastic wrapping. "Don't touch anything" she told her daughter, picking up as much of the plastic as she could and deposited it in a box. "Why don't you watch the TV?"

Rachel nodded and settled on House's couch, flipped on the telly and found her favourite pirate cartoon as her mother went to find out where House was.

"House?" She called, venturing toward the bedroom. She was just about to yell again when House finally appeared, popping his head around the bedroom door and hissing at her.

"Shh, he's finally asleep!"

The bedroom had changed dramatically; when she was last in there, there hadn't been a crib, a changing table, a stroller or a load of baby toys and clothes. "You're keeping him then?" She whispered as she walked over to the crib and peered in only to find Benjamin, fast asleep, dressed in nothing but a diaper which had been stuck on by duct tape.

"Yeah" House sighed, for once not offering any kind of sarcastic response. "I'm not doing too great though."

"Well I can see that" she smiled, gently picking Benjamin up being careful not to wake him.

"What are you doing?" House asked in shock "he's only just shut up, my ears are still ringing!"

"I'm going to show you how to change his diaper properly, _without_ duct tape. Don't worry, he won't wake up."

Lisa had to admit that she'd been a little apprehensive when she'd found out that House had recently acquired a baby. The guy was an over grown baby himself, incapable of looking after himself unless pushed to do so but, watching him now as he followed her instructions, she had to admit that this baby could be the making of him.

"Now put this on him" she whispered, handing over a grey and white sleep suit that had a panda on the bottom "it's too cold for him to sleep in nothing but his diaper."

House nodded, lifting the baby up and carefully placed his limbs into the sleep suit before doing up the poppers. He stared down at Benjamin, feeling exhausted, and smiled a little. Now that the kid was asleep, he had to admit that he was a little cute.

"Are you going to be ok now?" Cuddy asked as House put the baby back into the crib.

"Please don't go" he begged her quietly "stay, just for tonight."

Cuddy sighed "I have Rachel with me."

"You can both stay; Cuddy, I'm still shitting from the ipecac."

She paused for a moment, thinking before nodding. "Fine, just until you're free of the ipecac."

"What's ipecac?" Came a small voice from beside House. Both adults looked down to find that Rachel had wandered silently into the room.

"It's bad stuff that makes you sick" House told her.

"Rachel, we're sleeping over with House tonight, is that ok?"

The little girl nodded happily before flinging herself onto the bed and curling up right in the middle, just like she used to before House and Cuddy split up.

Cuddy looked at House almost longingly before shaking her head and saying "I have no idea why she likes you."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

House entered the hospital the next day wearing sunglasses and baby Benjamin in a black carrier, approved for babies and _not_ made out of duct tape, across his chest. Benjamin, like his dad, was also wearing sunglasses but, for added affect, House had given him a pacifier with teeth…giving the baby a permanent, albeit creepy, toothy smile.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the Doctor as he passed. Upon reaching the lift, House spotted Cuddy, also staring, and lifted his sunglasses to wink at her before stepping into the lift, placing his hands protectively over Benjamin, and looked up as he waited for the elevator doors to close.

"Did you get it?" House asked as soon as the doors shut.

_"Every single second" _Wilson replied, his voice coming from the Bluetooth earpiece in House's ear.

"This is going to be awesome" he grinned "don't do anything until I'm there, ok?"

"_You know me_" Wilson stated "_I have no idea how to use a computer._"

"Awh, love, don't put yourself down so much; you know it's not good for your self-esteem." He then hung up as he reached his floor and headed straight for Wilson's office. "Let me see it!" He demanded, entering without knocking, as he took Wilson's laptop and pressed play. He watched Wilson's recording of his entrance to the hospital and grinned "this is so perfect!" He played with the footage for a minute or so before grinning at Wilson. "Come here, Jimmy."

Once Wilson was leaned over the laptop, House pressed play to reveal the same footage he'd just watched but in black and white slow mo. Wilson exhaled in awe "my god, we are genius's!"

"So epic!" House nodded.

"It looks so…genuine!" Wilson grinned "How did you come up with the idea to do this?"

"Uh…" House frowned. In reality, he hadn't gotten much sleep due to the effects of the ipecac wearing off and had resorted to mind numbing YouTube tutorials to provide entertainment for him whilst he spent hours on the toilet. Benjamin, however, had slept right through and had to be woken up _twice_ by Cuddy, during the night, for feeds. "I…watched a documentary."

"Meaning you were on the shitter all night whilst consoling an inconsolable baby?"

House nodded and, deciding not to tell Wilson the whole truth, just said "more or less."

If Wilson knew that House had called Cuddy for help then he'd read too much into it and try to _understand_ why House called her and not him which would mean that, inevitably, Wilson would think that House had started pursuing her again and try to give him help that he actually doesn't need.

Something that Gregory House could do without right now.

"Well, just get some footage of my team and I'll put it together tonight." House instructed.

"What for?" Asked Wilson "and you do know that I'm here to work, right, not to make black and white slow motion films for you?"

"I am making a documentary" House nodded "for Benjamin; I've been recording everything."

Again, Wilson was surprised at this gesture. "Wow, House, that's really…nice"

House frowned before nodding and leaving Wilson's office. Yesterday, he'd had Taub and Wilson set up video cameras in both of his offices and every room of his apartment (including the bathroom). He figured that whenever the moment comes that he actually feels something toward this child, he'd like to look back and work out why it took so long because, right now, this baby was nothing more to him that a screaming nuisance.


	4. Part 3

House didn't go straight to his office, instead he headed down to the locker room where he found Taub clearing out his locker into a box. "I only came in to get my stuff" Taub told him.

"Why?" House asked.

Taub stopped what he was doing before turning around to stare at his boss. He was sure that, after the stunt he'd pulled yesterday, he was definitely fired. House looked tired and ill, obviously the prank that Taub had pulled had effected how he slept last night; for once, he felt a bit sorry. He then turned his attention to the baby who was sitting snug in the carrier House was wearing over his chest; it was still strange to see House with an infant who obviously felt safe enough to fall asleep. "Your kid is cute" Taub finally sighed "are you sure he's yours? Paternity tests aren't always right."

"I ran it two more times" House admitted "same result as the first. Now, why are you clearing out your locker?"

"I assumed that, after yesterday, I was fired."

House shook his head "I'm not firing you today, Taub; put your stuff away and meet us in the office, we're all waiting for you." And he turned on his heel and left.

Taub stood there in momentary disbelief before he shook his head and began putting the stuff back into his locker.

"Nice of you to finally join us" House stated as Taub walked into the office and took the empty chair beside Chase. "Drink up, this next case is compelling."

Taub stared at the mug of coffee, House had just put in front of him but didn't take it. "I already had my morning coffee, thanks."

"Oh relax" House rolled his eyes as he took Benjamin out of the holder and gave him to Thirteen so that he could take it off "Chase made it."

"It's true" Chase nodded "I even boiled the kettle."

"When are you going to get a nanny or something?" Foreman asked as he watched Thirteen pass Benjamin back to House "isn't it a little unethical to carry a baby around with you all day?"

"We need to bond" House replied simply, watching Taub sip at his coffee.

"And what case? We don't have one yet." Chase asked.

"No but we will in three…two…one…"

Taub's head smashed into the table as he passed out.

"Oh my God!" Thirteen declared as she jumped up from her chair and joined Chase who was searching Taub's neck for a pulse.

"Oh _relax_, he's just asleep." House told them, rolling his eyes. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out something before laying Benjamin on the table and putting a knitted woolly hat on his head. He then held Benjamin up to the team "what do you guys think?"

Chase, Thirteen and Foreman all stared at the baby who was now wearing a knitted green woolly hat with a brown knitted beard. "House, that's-" Foreman started but trailed off shaking his head.

"Weird" Chase nodded.

"Oh, come on, be nice!" House told them "he's just a baby!"

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

Wilson was just finishing off the paper work for one of his newest cancer patients when the door of his office opened slowly. He sighed and rolled his eyes, though he should really be surprised; House was late for his regular daily 'let's see how much I can annoy Wilson' session.

He waited for a moment but no one came in so he figured that the wind must have caught the door and pushed it open. Wilson got up and shut the door again but, when he turned around, he saw that someone had pushed a stroller through the door leading onto the balcony. He didn't need to look to know that a baby was in the stroller and who it belonged to.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"So you found a nanny then?" Chase asked, noticing the lack of baby attached to House's chest.

"Yes" House nodded before prodding Taub's shoulder with his foot.

"It's been five hours, surely he should be awake by now?" Foreman stated, sounding a little worried.

"Don't wish him awake so soon, guys, I also gave him laxatives." House grinned darkly before saying "now he'll know what it's like to have to wear adult diapers."

Just as House let out his best evil laugh, Taub's eyes opened and he jumped up from the floor before running out of the office as quick as his legs would carry him.

"And it's show time." House smirked.

Taub returned, fifteen minutes later, sweaty and agitated. "You" he pointed a finger at House "are an arse."

House raised his eyebrows at Taub before saying "am I really? The mirror tells me otherwise."

"You dosed me!"

"_You_ dosed _me_!"

"Fine, touché, but I-" Taub stopped in the middle of his sentence, dithered on the spot for a moment, before rushing back out of the room.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

That evening, House was very close to losing his cool. Benjamin was screaming and had been screaming for almost an hour.

"Wilson, you need to come over!" House yelled down the phone "if you don't, he's going out of the window!"

"_Don't throw the baby out the window, House. Just stop and think for a minute. Have you changed him?_"

"Yes."

"_Have you checked it since you last changed him?_"

"Yes!"

"_Have you fed him?_"

"Of course I've fed him, that's the only time he shuts up!"

Wilson sighed heavily down the phone "_Fine, I'll come over, but you owe me big time!_" The call shut off.

"Come on, Benjamin" House growled as he twisted on the spot, swaying the baby "shut up! Do you really want to go out the window because I don't think that you do! It's dark and cold out there...and I would quite possibly be sent to prison for child endangerment but you're really leaving me no choice!"

…Five minutes later…

"Fine, ok, daddy likes music…maybe Benjamin likes music too." House placed Benjamin in his Moses basket before setting him on top of the piano and sat down on the stool.

His fingers danced along the keys for a moment or two before he started up a lullaby.

'Sleep, little baby, sleep now my love  
>The Milky Way's shining high up above<br>When you grow up, you will learn all that stuff  
>But for now, close your eyes<br>Close your eyes.'

House paused to listen for a moment and smiled. Benjamin was calming down a little so he continued.

'Sleep, little baby, try not to squawk  
>Tomorrow and tomorrow you'll learn how to walk<br>To love and laugh, to make toast and talk  
>But for now, beddy-byes<p>

Your blanket's hand-knitted with pure angora wool  
>Your nappy is dry and your tummy is full<br>Of enough antihistamine to chill out a bull  
>Yet still all this gringing<p>

What more could you want for? I just cannot guess  
>You constantly complain to me; you should feel blessed<br>There are children in Africa, starving to death  
>And you don't hear them whinging<p>

What more can I do to put a stop to  
>This mind-numbing noise you are making?<br>Where is the line between patting and hitting?  
>When is rocking "rocking" and when is it "shaking"?'<p>

House looked up as his front door opened and saw Wilson step into his apartment. He pressed his finger to his lips before continuing.

'I don't know what else I can do to try to hush you  
>My heart says "I love you", but my brain's thinking "fuck you"<br>And hoping a child trafficker will abduct you  
>At least then I'll get a few hours in bed<p>

I've shushed and I've cooed and I've even try to sing  
>"Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da" in the exact voice of Ringo<br>Now all I have left is to hope that a dingo  
>Will sneak in and rip off your fat bitching head<p>

Hush little baby, don't say a word  
>Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird<br>In the hope you get avian flu  
>The nice folk in A&amp;E will take care of you<p>

That's it, close your eyes, shhh, not a sound  
>I can barely see your tiny belly moving up and down<br>One thing they don't mention in the parenting books:  
>Your love for them grows, the closer to dead they look'<p>

His fingers slowed on the keys and he peered at Benjamin only to find that, finally, he'd fallen asleep. House leant back against the wall and sighed heavily. If only he had known that Benjamin liked the piano, he could have saved himself all this stress.

"House" Wilson said in a hushed tone "that was amazing, how did you do that?"

"Baby's like soft music, it's calming."

"The lyrics are a bit odd but still…"

House nodded "thanks for coming, Wilson. That window was almost about to be opened."

* * *

><p><strong>Hi guys, just a short part tonight.<strong>

**Just wanted to say that the lullaby is a song by Tim Minchin called 'Lullaby'. Tim's an Australian comedian (though he was actually born in my hometown) and is pretty damn funny...well, it's a bit hit and miss but he has done some pretty hilarious stuff. Of course, the lyrics were written in jest...he wrote it when his kid was a baby and wouldn't sleep. Anyway I would definitely recommend heading on over to YouTube and checking it out...you won't understand why it's funny and nice (even though the lyrics are a little questionable).**

**Seriously, go check it out.**

**R&R**

**xx**


	5. Part 4

Bath time, for Gregory House, was usually something he looked forward to. He enjoyed soaking in the warm water; it relaxed him and dulled the pain in his thigh for a while. He could lay back and actually forget about life and pain and work for a while but it wasn't Gregory House who was going to be having a bath, not this time.

"Have you checked the temperature of the water?" Wilson asked him as the two men stood over the kitchen sink.

"No, my master plan is to burn my baby." Replied House sarcastically.

"Alright" he replied with raised eyebrows before handing Benjamin, who was wearing one of those baby towels with a hood, over to House "now, this is where we find out whether or not he likes water." Wilson rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and removed his watch as House removed the towel and gently lowered Benjamin into the water.

House looked at Wilson for a moment "no screaming, good sign." He strapped Benjamin into the baby seat and started flicking water onto the baby's skin.

"He's smiling, House!" Wilson announced as he smiled too "looks as though he likes water!"

"Course he does" House replied, feeling a little relieved that he didn't have to spend the next ten or so minutes bathing a screaming baby "he's just like me."

Wilson started cooing at Benjamin who, in response, would smile harder and splash the water as he waved his hands and legs around.

"Might not want to get too close, Wilson" House muttered as he finished washing soap from Benjamin's head "he likes to piss freely" and, just as House had warned, Benjamin started to pee right in Wilson's face. Wilson emerged looking less than happy "I did warn you."

"Yeah" he nodded as he grabbed a towel "thanks"

House looked down at Benjamin, as Wilson went into the bathroom to wash his face, and smiled proudly "and tomorrow, I'm going to teach you how to barf on command."

"You know, it's really weird seeing you act like a human being" Wilson told House as they sat in front of the television. "Since you got Benjamin, you've been a lot nicer to everyone…well, apart from Taub but he had it coming."

House turned to Wilson with his best 'what the fuck' expression before saying "well, what can I say, I got a thing for a little boys." Before winking and turning back to the boring documentary Wilson had put on.

"Don't lower the tone of the conversation, House; just admit that you love him."

House ignored him, he wasn't going to admit anything because, right now, he wasn't really sure how he felt about the boy; sure, he'd grown on him and now he wanted to protect Benjamin rather than toss him out with the garbage but that didn't mean that he loved him…or did it?

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

'_Mmmbop, ba duba dop, Ba du bop, ba duba dop, Ba du bop, ba duba dop, Ba du, yeah, Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop-_' House pulled his cell from his pocket, rejected the call and switched it off as he got out of his car.

He looked around for a moment or two, taking in a crowd people who were gathered together, a few yards away; they were all dressed in black and looking solemnly at something. House was also dressed in black; he'd pulled his best suit from the back of his closet and had it dry cleaned specifically for today.

It was nice weather for it; even though there was a chill in the air, the sun was shining and the ground was dry. There was nothing he hated more than having to attend an event like this in the rain.

House went around to the trunk and pulled out the pram that Wilson had brought for him before opening the left side passenger door, unclipping Benjamin from of his car seat and placing him into it. He stared at the baby for a moment before sighing; he was asleep again. The kid spends most of his time asleep; though, House figured, he shouldn't really complain. A sleeping baby is an easy baby…a sleeping baby is nicer than a screaming baby.

He pushed the pram forward, heading toward the group of people, who were dressed in black. House didn't try to join them, instead he stood behind the group far enough away not to be noticed but close enough to hear what was being said.

_"__We now commit her body to the ground;_ _earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust:_ _in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life…" the funeral director, a surprisingly young looking man, finished._

It had been his plan to be late. He didn't want anyone to recognise him.

House waited until the crowd had dispersed before walking over to the sleek white marble tomb stone which read:

_Amy Carlisle_

_1972 – 2014_

_R.I.P_

Amy had been a one night stand gone wrong; she'd come into his life just after Wilson had been diagnosed with cancer. House had been getting drunk at a bar one night and had woken up with her in his bed. They saw each other a few more times after the first night and House had become far too attached until, one day, she disappeared. He heard nothing more from her. After Wilson had been given the all clear, the tumour was found to have been benign and was removed safely, House all but forgot about her until the night Benjamin appeared.

House knew who his mother was even before confirming it with a sneaky DNA test, using a strand or two of her hair from the brush she'd left behind and forgotten about, because, even though Benjamin had his distinct blue eyes, he had her tanned skin and chocolate coloured hair.

"Hi, can I help you?" House looked up from the tombstone to see the funeral director smiling at him. "I'm afraid that, if you're here for the funeral of Amy Carlisle, you've just missed it. I'm Reverend Harvey Green." He added.

He shook his head "it wasn't my plan to attend. I just needed proof."

"Proof of what?"

"Her passing." House would usually try to find some witty comment about death and the absence of an afterlife to hide behind, not wanting to confront any emotion he might feel about it, but not today. He was raising her son, even he wouldn't stoop that low. "How did she die?"

"Car accident; her friends and family all told me that it was quick and painless. I'm sorry" Harvey told him sincerely "were you a friend?"

"No, just the father of her child."

Harvey stared at House and then at Benjamin in confusion. "Amy had a still born son, eight weeks ago."

He stared at the reverend. Why would she lie about the birth of her child? Did she not want him to go to anybody else or was she ashamed that she had his baby? It was a strange thing to lie about but then there was her car accident. Why would she pass Benjamin over to him on the night she was going to die? Nobody knows when they're going to die unless they induce it themselves. Amy had committed suicide and made it look like an accident; that's why the funeral was late. "Everybody lies" House finally replied before turning around and walking back to his car.

House didn't leave straight away, he sat in his car staring at Benjamin through the rear view mirror. This was real, he had nobody to fall back on and no one was going to come and relieve him from this duty which mean that if he was going to do this then he needed to make sure that Benjamin was going to be with someone who truly loved him.

He turned on his cell and ignored the twenty three voice messages as he dialled Wilson.

"Wilson" he said softly when the call connected.

"House? Where have you been? Are you ok?"

"I had something I needed to do."

"You sound strange, is Benjamin with you?"

House didn't reply straight away but, when he did he sounded pained "I couldn't do it; I had to do something, Wilson. I'm a failure, we all know that I'm a failure…"

"What are you talking about? Where are you? I'll come get you."

"It doesn't matter" House told him before shutting off the call.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"House!" Wilson called as he knocked on his best friend's front door. The call he'd received had worried him, it almost sounded as though he'd done something to Benjamin. "Open the door, House!" When his shouts remained ignored, he pulled out his key and unlocked the door before letting himself in only to find House playing with Benjamin on the floor. "Why didn't you answer the door?" He panted, breathing hard as his panic began to abate.

"I was busy" House replied, shaking a rattle over Benjamin's head.

"Where were you today? Everyone was worried about you!"

"I was doing something somewhere. If I wanted you to know where I was, Wilson, I would have told you."

Wilson paused for a moment or two before stepping into the apartment properly and closing the door. "Was it, by any chance, the funeral of a woman called Amy Carlisle?"

House stared up at Wilson looking confused; as far as he was aware, the only person who knew about him and Amy _was_ him and Amy. "How did you-"

"I made my deductions" Wilson sighed "look, House, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it but can you at least answer me _and_ be honest when I ask you if you're ok?"

"I'm fine" House replied. "I don't recall talking to you about Amy."

"You may have been unaware of my pain during those few months but I wasn't unaware of yours; I knew about Amy. I met her outside your apartment once though, back then, I thought she was a hooker. I also know that she's Benjamin's mother."

"She wasn't a hooker." House stated.

Wilson went around and sat on the sofa before asking "how did you meet her?"

"In a bar; I was looking for an escape and so was she" He looked up at his best friend who was watching him in concern. "I'm sorry that I wasn't around when you needed me."

"You were around in your own way" Wilson replied "that was enough for me. Your pranks took my mind off the issue for a while" he smiled as he reminisced. "The Viagra prank was a bit much though."

House chuckled "I'd do that one again in a heartbeat."

Beside Wilson, on the arm of the couch, was an envelope. "What's this?" He asked, taking the envelope and pulling out the contents to reveal two official looking documents. One was an adoption form and the other was a birth certificate.

"Even though he's mine, I had to officially adopt him" House explained "I also added my name to his birth certificate."

"But these take weeks to come through" Wilson frowned.

House shook his head "not when you know the person who runs the department and know how to blackmail him; he put a rush on it for me, only had to wait ten minutes."

"I'm glad" Wilson nodded, putting the documents back into the envelope "I think you made the right choice."

Gregory House nodded in agreement and smiled slightly "me too."


	6. Part 5

Benjamin House may have inherited his mother's tanned skin and chocolate coloured hair but he'd inherited his father's intellect and, by four months old, he was already standing up and walking a couple of feet (with the aid of the furniture).

House watched his son proudly as Benjamin over balanced, fell to the floor and landing on his bottom before crawling, with insane speed, across the office to where House was standing. He grabbed his father's pant leg and hauled himself back up on his feet just as the team walked in.

"Whoa" Thirteen frowned "he's on his feet already?"

"Yup" nodded House "he's a clever boy."

"Kid has a big head" Taub pointed out "be surprised if he can stay up for longer than- oh, there he goes" he smirked as Benjamin lost his balance again.

"Don't be so jealous" House told him "just because Sophie and Sophia didn't walk until they were eighteen months old."

"They, at least, didn't eat pills from the floor." He retorted with raised eyebrows.

"What!" House exclaimed and looked down at Benjamin just in time to see the boy put a white pull in his mouth. "Benjamin, no!" He said sternly. Benjamin looked up at House for a moment before spitting the pill out of his mouth and stared up at his father with watery eyes. House grabbed the pill from the floor before picking Benjamin up and holding him close.

The pill was deposited into the bin.

"I thought I'd picked them all up" he sighed before looking at his team who were staring questioningly at him "I spilled a load of my Vicodin pills this morning."

"Yeah, we pretty much gathered that" Foreman replied "I'm more impressed at the fact Benjamin spat the pill out."

House grinned but said nothing; if he explained his secrets then they wouldn't be secrets any more. "How long until you can get him into day care?" Chase asked "I mean, it is pretty dangerous to have a baby in the office, let alone a high functioning one who can more or less move around on his own."

"Hey!" House frowned "there's no need to be mean!"

Chase rolled his eyes "you know what I mean, House."

"Cuddy gave the 'ok' and baby proofed the office weeks ago" House reminded them "but I've got until the end of the week to get him into day care." He stared at his son, who was now chewing on his shirt collar, before saying "please tell me that we have a case, you guys know how much I abhor clinic duty."

Work had been a little slow on the interesting cases front and, if they didn't have a case, Cuddy would push them down to the clinic…as she had done for the past week and a half.

"Sorry" Thirteen replied as she handed house a file "this is all we could find."

House looked through the file quickly and sighed before gesturing to his team to follow him into the outer office. "Right" he said, taking a seat and depositing Benjamin onto the floor "I assume you've all looked through the file?" They all nodded "then, I assume, you all know what's wrong with him?"

"Food poisoning" Foreman replied.

"Wrong!" House told him loudly "well, actually, you're right but if Cuddy asks, we're still diagnosing. So; Chase and thirteen, go check out the patient's house and Foreman and" he squinted at Taub "Jewish Hitler, go run some bloods. Take your time, there's no need to rush."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"This looks like a nice place" Wilson stated as he pulled onto the driveway of, what looked like, a suburban family home. It was beautiful with a large, fenced, front yard.

House scowled. "If you think that then you must be an idiot." He replied as he caught sight of the name 'sunshine day care.'

"What's wrong with it?" Sighed Wilson. "Please don't tell me that you're going to rule it out before even looking around…like the other four."

"It's right in the middle of a busy street, not a safe place for children."

Wilson looked around; there wasn't a car in sight. "House, I know that you're worried and that's nice but you have two days to find a place and you've already ruled out ten. There aren't that many left! Come on, let's go have a look." He got out of the car and retrieved Benjamin from the back before heading toward the gate, giving House no choice but to follow.

"Good afternoon and welcome to Sunshine Day care; my name is Sandy and I help to run the baby room."

House gawked at the woman; she was younger than him, but not young enough to be his daughter, and she was beautiful…though he only spent two seconds on his face before his gaze slid down to her chest. Wilson nudged him after a moment or two. "I'm sorry" House said "what did you say?"

Sandy smiled at him "I asked if you'd made an appointment or you are a walk in."

"Appointment" Wilson jumped in "for four."

"Ah" Sandy smiled, looking through the appointment book "Wilson, is it?"

"That's me" he nodded "and this is Benjamin."

"Oh, isn't he a sweetie!" She cooed at him, making him giggle and burrow his head into Wilson's neck "how old is he?"

"Four months" Wilson replied when he noticed that House had gone back to staring at Sandy's breasts.

"Four months?" Sandy stated in confusion "but he's-"

"He's ahead of most children" House told her, snapping back to reality, before taking his son from his best friend.

"He takes after House who is very high functioning" Wilson sighed "like father like son."

"Oh" Sandy looked confused again "did you get a surrogate?"

House and Wilson stared at her. "I'm sorry" Wilson frowned "what?"

House had twigged what she was getting at and slid his hand into Wilson's and held on tight as Wilson tried to shake him off "no, we have a very open relationship" House replied "our friend volunteered to help us out and let both of us fuck her so that there was equal chance of us being the biological father but, in the end, my sperm was superior to Wilson's" House sighed dramatically before turning his puppy dog eyes to Wilson "he still gets quite upset about it sometimes, isn't that right, Sweetie?"

Wilson glared at him before turning back to Sandy "we aren't gay; the mother dropped him off on House's doorstep when Benjamin was about three weeks old. House _is _the father though."

Sandy nodded though still looked a little confused "so, if you don't mind me asking, where's the mother now?"

"Dead" House replied "she was involved in a car accident the night she dropped Benjamin off at mine."

"I am so sorry to hear that. Uhm" she was at a loss at what to say next "should we start the tour and then, if you like it, you can fill out the paperwork?"

The day care centre was, even though House didn't want to admit it, perfect. It was bright, happy and full of toys and, in the backyard, they even had animals.

"He's not allergic to anything, is he?" Sandy asked as they stared at the baby animals.

House shook his head before asking "I work long days, I am on call all the time and I sometimes have to leave in the middle of the night; usually, when this happens, Benjamin comes with me but I was wondering if you had a nanny service."

"We do" Sandy nodded "we have a select group of people who work nights for the parents who, like you, are in busy jobs. All you have to do is call the day care to inform them that you are in need of a nanny and you can either drop Benjamin off or request for someone to come to."

"Ok" House nodded, a little impressed "and what about learning? I don't think that children should be forced into education until it's time for them to go to school but I'm not adverse to a little extra stimulation."

"Well, we advise the parents to try and teach them the alphabet and numbers but parents do have the option of hiring a tutor for their child. Personally, I think she's brilliant; she comes in and starts teaching different languages and instruments."

"Alright" House sighed as he looked at Wilson "I'm sold."

"What?" Wilson blinked at him "really?"

He nodded "it's on the way to work."

"Wow"

"So where do I sign?"

House filled out the appropriate paperwork which would ensure Benjamin a place in the day care. "Great" Sandy smiled "just so you know, Benjamin won't be able to start until after Christmas, but you will be able to call on a nanny if you need to."

Once they were back in the car Wilson said "I'm really proud of you, House."

Gregory House nodded but said nothing. He wasn't happy that he was having to put Benjamin into day care; he'd grown used to the company but even he had to admit that it wasn't convenient.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"House found a day care that he liked" Wilson informed Cuddy once he'd arrived back at the hospital "he signed Benjamin up today."

Cuddy was just as surprised as Wilson had been when House admitted that he liked the place. "Seriously?"

"Yeah" he laughed "the place is seriously great though. It has baby animals in the back yard _and_ it even passed House's test!"

"Wow, I'm surprised; I thought he'd put up more of a fight."

"He tried" Wilson admitted "but he was won over."

Cuddy sighed and shook her head "I didn't want to have to do this to him. I mean, it's obvious that he loves his baby…I didn't want to have to be the one to separate them."

"You had to" he assured her "and he knew it."

"It's weird though, isn't it?" She asked "seeing House care for something and love something other than himself."

"Mmm" Wilson agreed "but it's nice; Benjamin seems to have…" he thought for a moment, trying to pick the right word "tamed him a little."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

Christmas day, for House, was usually a day where he'd find himself in a bar somewhere getting drunk but, this year, he'd agreed to spend Christmas day at Cuddy's with Rachel, Wilson, Chase, Foreman and Thirteen; Taub, who had his own family, had respectfully declined.

House arrived on Cuddy's doorstep almost two hours late with Benjamin dressed up as a reindeer. "House" Cuddy frowned "you're late."

"I know" he smiled "Benjamin had explosive diarrhoea."

"Oh, well, if he's sick-"

"He's fine; I fed him too many mushed up grapes last night." House replied as he pushed past Cuddy into the warmth of her house where everyone was already waiting, in the front room.

Chase had Rachel on his lap and was letting her brush his hair but when she spotted House come in with Benjamin she launched herself off him and wrapped her arms around House's good leg. "Oww" Chase groaned, cupping his balls. "Remind me to protect myself next time" he wheezed.

House grinned as he continued to walk across the room, toward an empty chair, dragging Rachel along with him before sitting down and depositing Benjamin on the floor where he sat and stared at everyone, evidently confused by his change of surroundings. "Why is he dressed like a reindeer?" Foreman asked.

"I was in a good mood this morning" House replied, grabbing the antlers from his son before he put them in his mouth "it was a tossup between the reindeer and a snowman but he couldn't move around in the snowman suit and screamed until I took it off." He paused for a moment before adding "and he did a disgusting doodie that leaked from his diaper."

"Can I play with Benjamin?" Rachel asked sweetly.

"Sure" House replied "if he wants to play with you."

"Can he come into my bedroom?"

"No, Rachel, Sweetie, you have too many little toys that he could choke on" her mother replied "you can play with him in here."

Rachel pouted for a minute before disappearing behind the sofa and returning with her toy box.

"So, dinner's cooking" Lisa Cuddy informed everyone, mainly for the benefit of House, "should be done in thirty minutes or so. What do you guys want to do?"

"Presents!" Rachel yelled, startling Benjamin who'd been happily sucking on her bald Barbie doll and making him cry. She looked a little guilty when Chase picked him up and started to make funny faces, causing the tears to stop and the giggles to begin.

"He's an expert at faces" House warned Chase "so don't start a game you won't be able to win."

"That's it" Wilson suddenly piped up, watching Chase with Benjamin. Intrigued at how well Benjamin copied chase and amused at how funny it was. "Games are always great Christmas traditions."

"They are" Cuddy agreed "that's a great idea, though I don't think we'll have time to play before we eat so how about we open _one_ present each?"

House looked a little disgruntled at the suggestion of playing games but didn't complain. As Rachel, who'd cheered up at the mention of presents, passed him a large squashy parcel which, according to the label, was from Wilson. "Hmm" he squeezed it, held it up to his ear and shook it before staring at Wilson in an almost accusatory manner. "Please don't tell me that you brought me one of the horrible Christmas jumpers?"

Wilson didn't say yes or no but his face went bright red "open it and fine out, you ungrateful b-"

"Bully!" Cuddy said quickly, glaring at Wilson.

"Right" he sighed "don't be a bully, House."

House ripped off the wrapping and fought the urge to roll his eyes as he pulled out, as he'd expected, a Christmas jumper. It wasn't as horrible as he first thought though, which he appreciated. The majority of it was cotton but one third of it, along the bottom, had green, dark red and dark green zigzags. "I suppose it's not too repulsive" House finally admitted "thank you, Wilson."

"You are entirely welcome, House." Wilson replied as he was given his present.

"It's from House" Rachel told him "see?" She pointed to the label where House had inscribed 'Wilson, from House'.

"Yes" Wilson nodded "so I see." She grinned at him as he opened the present. "Oh _wow_" Wilson exclaimed in surprised awe as he pulled out a first edition copy of 'The Velveteen Rabbit'. He looked up at House "this is perfect!"

"Don't sound so surprised" House frowned "I do listen to you, you know."

"I know but I've looked everywhere for a first edition copy! Seriously, House, thank you!"

"Awh, don't get all sentimental, Wilson."

Next up was Chase who received a novelty pair of briefs from Cuddy. Foreman opened his present to reveal a scarf, from Wilson. Rachel got a dolls head (one where you practice your hairstyling skills) from House. Benjamin received a walker from Chase. Thirteen, from Chase, received an expensive looking hat and gloves set and Cuddy, much to her embarrassment, received a skimpy silk nighty from House, who grinned when her face turned the same colour as his Christmas jumper. She then disappeared back into the kitchen, with Thirteen and Foreman, to dish up dinner.

"You couldn't go one day without embarrassing her, could you?" Chase asked, grinning widely.

"Well" House sat back in his chair and rested his arms behind his head "I saw it and it reminded me of that pretty little black number I managed to rip when-"

"Why did you rip mommy's nighty?" Rachel asked, popping up from nowhere.

House, who'd forgotten that the little girl was still in the room, blinked at her for a moment or two before saying "I didn't, it was a dream I had."

"Why did you rip mommy's nighty in your dream?"

Chase and Wilson watched House, entertained as he struggled to find an answer that wouldn't set off more questions _or_ have Cuddy yell at him later. "Because…it was a dream" he finally said "why does Chase dream about pink hippos? Why does Wilson dream about handsome Australian men?"

Rachel blinked at him before deciding that he'd given a reasonable enough answer and going back to her dolls head. Benjamin, on the other hand, was chewing the box that his toy had come in. "No, Benny" Chase laughed, picking up the boy and standing him by his walker. "I brought you the toy to play with, _not_ the box."

In response, Benjamin let out an amused squeal as he smacked one of the brightly coloured stars, on his walker, causing it spin loudly. He then became obsessed with the star and drove everyone to insanity as he made it spin around and around until Cuddy announced that dinner was ready.

Lisa Cuddy had prepared nothing less than a feast. Roast turkey, a gammon joint, lamb _and_ beef were all served up along with, what looked like, every vegetable that she could get her hands on and mashed and roasted potatoes.

Even House had to admit that the meal was superb.

"I almost feel bad that Benjamin is eating mashed up carrots" Chase stated as he put down his knife and fork, the last to finish.

"I don't; before too long he'll be eating everything he can get his hands on" House growled as he spooned the orange mush into his son's mouth before sighing as it was spat out all over his face. Benjamin squealed happily, flipped his bowl over and promptly fell asleep in his upturned food.

"I'll sort him" Cuddy told House as she got up and gently lifted the sleeping baby from his highchair "you go clean yourself up."

Later that evening, both kids were asleep and the adults decided to play a simple game of spin the bottle, a Christmas version. Thirteen had received it as a joke present from one of her friends.

"Cuddy" Foreman grinned "truth or dare."

"Dare" she said and then quickly changed her mind "no, truth!"

"Sorry! Your first answer was dare" he informed her before nodding to the doorway where she'd hung some mistletoe "the card says to stand under the mistletoe and wait whilst I spin the bottle; you have to kiss the person it lands on." Without arguing but with a bit of resistance, Cuddy went and stood under the mistletoe; Foreman span the bottle and, of course, it landed on House.

"Oooh!" Foreman, Wilson, Thirteen and Chase all said in unison, grinning at House.

House rolled his eyes; he hadn't even wanted to play the stupid game and this was exactly the reason why. "Personally" he sighed as he heaved himself up from his chair, sluggish from all the food they'd eaten earlier "I was rooting for Thirteen. There's nothing more stimulating than a bit of girl on girl action." He walked over to where Cuddy was standing; she didn't look at all happy about this either. "Sorry" he muttered as he leaned in "better this than streaking down the block, right?"

"Me or you?" She whispered back.

"You; I was trying to help you out."

"Come on!" Thirteen called "sometime today!"

House stared at her for a moment longer, taking in her beauty, before shaking his head slightly and grabbing her head. He kissed her forcefully, pretending to make a bigger deal out of it than it was, before letting go of her and winking "and there's more where that came from, baby!"

Cuddy smiled at him and whispered "thanks" before sitting back down. "Ok, House" she said as House took his seat "truth or dare?"

"Truth" he sighed, just as he had done for the last few times.

She took a card from the truth pile and blushed a little before asking "have you ever climaxed whilst still fully clothed?"

The question took him off guard a little. The answer was yes, who the hell hadn't? But it hadn't happened recently, in fact, the last time he'd jizzed in his pants was when Cuddy grabbed him when they were trying to convince Wilson that they were in fact a couple. "Yes" he finally answered, refusing to look at anyone "yesterday, when Thirteen did a strip tease for me in the locker room."

Remy snorted and shook her head in response but, seeing that everyone was staring at her, she said "I did _not_ do a striptease for him! I spilled my coffee down my shirt and had to change."

"What was House _doing_ in the locker room with you?" Wilson asked.

"He's always in the locker room" Chase explained "we were all there, well, we were almost there. Arrived just as she'd shut her locker."

"Ok, Thirteen" House said over everyone "truth or dare?"

With a mischievous glint in her eye, she replied "dare."

House picked up a dare card and grinned before reading "do a sixty second lap dance on one person of the opposite sex wearing," he yanked Wilson's reindeer hat from his head "nothing but your underwear and this." He tossed the hat to her.

"Alright" she smirked, standing up and started to remove her clothes. Every single male eye, in the room, was fixed on her silky red bra and matching thong as she mounted Chase and started to perform her dare. By the end of it, everyone's mouth was open and Chase was rather red in the face.

By the time midnight had rolled around only Cuddy and House was left; House, after the silly game, had drunk through most of the Whiskey which had been a present from Taub. "Here" Cuddy threw a blanket at him "take the sofa; you can sleep here tonight."

"But Benjamin-"

"Is fast asleep, in the crib, in my room" she told him "now shut up and go to sleep."

House gazed at her for a moment before getting up and walking over to her "I still love you, you know" he slurred "I'm sorry that I drove my car into your house."

"I know you are" she told him sympathetically "and I forgave you, remember?"

"But I was just so jealous!" He continued "I'm sorry, Lisa, I still love you."

"House" she sighed as he stepped closer to her "please-"

"Just tell me that you don't love me!" He demanded "tell me and I'll never bother you with it again!"

"Keep it down!" She hushed.

"Just say it."

"I-" she stared into his startling blue eyes, the same eyes that he'd passed on to his son, and sighed when she realised that she couldn't say it.

House swooped down on her, pressing his mouth against hers; at first, she tried to fight it but this kiss wasn't like the one he'd given her under the mistletoe as a dare, it was the same kiss that they'd shared before and, instead of pushing him off her, she melted into him and unconsciously guided both of them into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

The next morning, House woke up with a pain in his head, a pain in his leg and next to a naked Lisa Cuddy. He stared at her bare back for a moment before sighing and muttering "oh hell."


	7. Part 6

Cuddy woke up to find the other half of her double bed empty. She sighed as she put a hand to her forehead and wondered if last night had been a dream.

Rumbling voices, beyond her bedroom door, alerted her to the fact that she was probably the last one to wake and so, donning her robe, she slid out of bed and padded through to the kitchen to find House and her daughter sitting at the table eating cereal.

"That is _not _what I said" House told Rachel, acknowledging Cuddy by rolling his eyes "I _said_ that pink is a girly colour, not that I didn't like it."

"You said" Rachel stated, pointed her spoon at him and splashing milk onto the table "that pink was a girly colour and that you didn't like it because you're a boy and not a girl."

"What's all this?" Lisa Cuddy asked as she fetched herself a bowl from the cupboard and poured some cereal into it.

"House wouldn't let me paint his nails pink" she pouted.

Cuddy looked at House's finger nails and laughed when she found that they were now luminous pink in colour. "It looks like he gave in to you." She pointed out.

"Only because he wouldn't let me paint Benjamin's nails." Benjamin, who was happily gurgling away to himself in his highchair, had no idea what his father had just done for him.

"Well" her mother said "I think Benjamin's a bit too young to have his nails painted. It could hurt him if he puts his fingers in his mouth."

"That's what House said" sighed Rachel "but then he let me paint his nails and got me breakfast." Rachel Cuddy paused for a minute before asking "what makes a boy a boy?"

Cuddy dropped her spoon onto the table and coughed as she swallowed a chunk of cereal whole. "Wow" she gasped "I was not expecting that question quite so soon."

"You mean you haven't told her about the birds and the bees?" House asked, smirking a little.

"No, I didn't think I'd need to, considering only women live in this house."

"I saw House weeing" Rachel announced "but he wasn't sitting on the toilet like you do, mommy."

Cuddy frowned "when did she see you using the toilet?"

House felt just as alarmed as Cuddy looked "I have absolutely no idea."

"I followed him" the little girl shrugged "I was invisible!"

"Honestly, Cuddy, I had no idea that she was even up at that time."

"You didn't think to shut the door?"

"It was four thirty!" House stressed "And I was still drunk!"

"What's drunk?" Rachel asked.

"It's when adults get very happy or very sad and sometimes forget to do things" her mother replied, still staring at House. "Well, you can deal with this one, House, it's your fault she's even asking."

House gawked at her "what, you want me to do a show and tell or something?"

"Just tell her why men pee standing up and women don't."

He huffed in annoyance for a moment before staring at the girl who was still waiting for an answer. "Well" he started "girls have vaginas and boys have penis' and-"

"Do you have a penis?" Rachel asked, interrupting him.

"Yes, because I'm a boy."

"Can I see it?"

"No!" House said defensively.

"Rachel" Cuddy leaned across the table "why don't you listen to House without interrupting him? He's answering your question, remember?"

Rachel nodded and waited patiently. "Girls pee sitting down because it's easier for them" House continued "boy pee standing up because it's easier for them, understand?"

"No" she shook her head "I don't understand why it's easier for men to pee standing up."

"Because they have a penis" House repeated, feeling embarrassed. He'd gone through life thankful that he'd never have to have this talk, seriously, with anyone…and now he was going to have to do it again at least once more after today.

"But I don't know what one of them is!"

House thought for a moment before getting up and grabbing the empty teapot from the side. "It's like a teapot; this is a boy" he told her before looking around and grabbing a ball of string "and this is a girl. Do you see that the string has a hole in the bottom?" Rachel nodded "and this teapot has a spout?" She nodded again "Well, when a boy has to use the toilet-" he filled the teapot up with water and then tipped it over the sink, emptying the water through the spout "see? And a girl sits because she doesn't have a spout, like this ball of string. If she stands, like how a boy stands, she'll make a mess on the floor."

"So boys have a spout and girls don't?"

"Exactly, yes" he smiled before sitting back down.

Rachel thought for a moment before mumbling "I wish that _I _had a spout" before getting up and heading into the front room to play with her toys.

"That" Cuddy said, looking surprised "was impressive, House; how on earth did you come up with an analogy like that?"

"Pure luck" he replied before leaning in and hissing "don't you ever make me do _your_ parenting again!"

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"Wilson" Cuddy sighed as she walked into his office "I think House and I had sex."

Wilson blinked at her in surprise for a moment before he got up from his chair and shut his office door. "You _think_?" He asked.

She nodded "House was drunk and, well" she sighed again "but he hasn't said anything to me about it."

"How long ago was this?"

"Six weeks? Oh, _God_" she groaned, throwing herself down on his couch "did I dream this?"

"You're saying that you two had sex and he hasn't said anything to you or anybody since?" She nodded "wow, usually he brags…"

"I _know._"

"Maybe you _did _dream it."

Cuddy sat up and stared at Wilson "it was very good though; it felt like it did before and-"

"You just miss him" Wilson told her "and you miss the sex so your brain is giving you the next best thing but, if you're unsure, maybe you should talk to him?"

"So he hasn't said anything to you at all?"

"No, he hasn't though I have thought that he might be avoiding me; I wondered why and now I guess…"

"This is bad" Cuddy moaned "he hasn't said anything about it to anyone so either I _did_ dream it and I've just admitted that I have sex dreams about House _or_ it did happen and he's planning some big reveal to embarrass me."

"_Or_" Wilson cut in "he regrets it and he's actually respecting your privacy for once." Lisa Cuddy stared at Wilson in disbelief before he nodded "yeah, ok, I just heard it."

"This is _House_ we're talking about" she reminded him.

Wilson shook his head "I don't know then; do you want me to talk to him?"

Cuddy stared at him for a moment and sighed "I don't know."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"You had sex with Cuddy!" Wilson exclaimed, barging into House's bedroom, causing House to jolt awake and Benjamin to start wailing.

"Good morning to you too" House glowered at his friend as he got out of bed and went to console his son. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"I _did_ knock" replied Wilson "you didn't answer."

"It's Saturday!" He informed Wilson over Benjamin's wails "I was asleep because it's my day off!" House was pissed off, not because Wilson had come in uninvited on his day off, he did that all the time, but because he'd woken up Benjamin who'd come down with a fever overnight and couldn't get off to sleep. It had taken hours for him to wear himself out so much that he'd just drifted off. "How dare you come barging in here and wake up my baby with something that could have waited until Monday!" House shouted.

Wilson was taken aback at House's temper; sure, House had shouted at him many times before but he'd never been one hundred percent serious. "What's wrong?"

"I'm pissed off!" House snapped "Benjamin's sick and _you _woke him up! It took hours of screaming for him to finally fall asleep and _you just woke him up!_"

Being the kind, concerned, friend that he is, Wilson walked over to House and gently pressed a hand to Benjamin's forehead. The baby was still screaming and his face was turning red. "He's got a temperature, House" Wilson confirmed.

"What, you don't think I know that?" House asked in irritation "I've spent most of the night trying to get it down!"

"What are you still doing here then? If it hasn't broken yet then there could be something seriously wrong with him!" Wilson stared at House for a moment before heading back toward the door "come on, I'll give you a lift to the ER."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

It was gone midday and House was snoozing lightly beside his son who was now sleeping peacefully; the fever had been caused by an ear and throat infection that was now being treated with antibiotics. He jolted awake, for the second time that day, when he heard someone tap on the glass. He stared warily at Cuddy, who was leaning against the door frame and looking concerned. "How is he?" She asked softly.

"Asleep." House replied "he's going to be fine; it was just an infection." He paused for a moment before shaking his head. "I felt useless; he was screaming and there was nothing I could do to help."

Cuddy nodded, she knew the feeling all too well. She ventured further into the room and wrapped her arms around House's neck, pulling her close to him. "I know" she told him gently "it's horrible but the best thing you could have done was bringing him here and you did that."

"Only because Wilson stormed in" he admitted "we were both asleep; if he hadn't have come then it might have been too late."

"House, both you and Benjamin were exhausted. Sleeping was better for him than being awake; it was giving his body time to recover."

"But still-"

"House" she said fiercely "much to everyone's surprise, you are an excellent father! You did nothing wrong, in fact, you did everything right and the fact that you're worrying over it is proof of that. Your son is going to be fine; isn't that enough?"

He stared at her for a moment before shaking his head and saying "you told Wilson about Christmas night" in a voice so soft that Lisa Cuddy knew that she'd hurt him by betraying his confidence.

She didn't speak immediately; she just stared back at him, taking in his masculine features and those beautiful blue eyes before she opened her mouth again. "I wasn't sure that it happened" she admitted gently "you weren't there when I woke up and, because you didn't mention it or make any sarcastic comment about it, I assumed that it had been a dream but, I took a test this morning, House" she sighed "I'm pregnant."


	8. Part 7

There weren't many things in life that stopped Gregory House right in his tracks; a great case would be one, another would possibly an awesome game of Hockey and this…the fact that he's just gotten used to the idea of raising one baby and now one had turned into two.

"If this were before Benjamin" Cuddy said "I would have considered terminating. I wouldn't have terminated but I would at least have considered your view on things but you've proved that you can be competent when it comes to children and so I want to keep it."

"Are you s-"

"I took four home pregnancy tests, two blood tests" she replied, interrupting him "and then I had an ultra-sound- the scan shows that I'm almost 9 weeks. House" she sighed "would you consider giving us another go?"

House stared at her for a moment. He loved her, she was the love of his life and yet she'd hurt him so much just by walking away that he was reluctant to go there with her again. What would happen this time if she changed her mind about him? Would she leave and take the baby with her? "I don't think I can" he admitted "not after what happened the last time. Cuddy, I love you but if we do this and you change your mind, like you did last time, then I would have a lot more to lose. Staying friends and being amicable means that you won't take my baby away from me."

"Is that what you're worried about?" She asked in amazement "Greg, I would never stop you from seeing your children, no matter how bad things get-"

"Say we do this" he interrupted "we buy a house together and we do family things; then we split up in maybe five years or so…how would that be fair on Rachel, Benjamin and the new one? I had to leave her once and she constantly reminds me about it, now you've let me back in, she won't leave me alone. Not to mention that if you kick me out then Benjamin would come with me leaving you with Rachel and the baby. How would that make him feel? Lisa, I am in it for the ride; I said that to you before and I'm saying it again but you need to think this through carefully because, this time, there's no splitting up. Do you understand that? I _will_ not hurt my children like that."

"I'll think it through" she nodded with a whisper, knowing that he was right. She remembers the time she left and how Rachel was; she missed him, saw him as her dad, and taking House away from her hurt the little girl…she didn't want to do that again.

"Do" House replied "but you tell me that you are completely sure and I'll believe you. Either way, we will do this together."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

Benjamin turning a year old marked quite a few occasions; one being the fact that he'd been talking properly for almost four months and had been out of diapers for two months but it also marked Lisa Cuddy's eighth month of pregnancy, sixth month of being in a successful relationship with House and almost one month of living together in a completely new house.

Things, so far, were going swimmingly.

"He's turning one, not twenty one!" House told Cuddy as she brought all of the wrapped presents down from their bedroom "the poor boy isn't going to know what to do with all of that!"

"He isn't like most little boys" Cuddy reminded him "and most of this lot is clothes; he may be almost six years old, mentally, but he still looks like a baby. Plus, it helps with the whole nesting process." She then looked around for the boy "where is he anyway?"

"I think Rachel is holding him hostage in her bedroom."

Lisa dropped the presents she was holding and moaned "oh no!" Before starting back toward the stairs.

"Uh, no" House stopped her "sit down and put your feet up. I'll go and get them." He gave her a look that said 'do what I say or else' before skirting round her and headed up the stairs.

"What a pretty little girl" He heard Rachel coo, from her bedroom "now to add a little bit more and you'll be perfect!"

House pushed her bedroom door open and found Rachel kneeling on the floor opposite Benjamin. Scattered around her was her mother's makeup. It appeared that, right at this moment in time, Rachel Cuddy was emasculating his son.

"Hi, daddy!" Rachel grinned "doesn't he look pretty!" Rachel started calling House 'daddy' when Benjamin started to refer to Cuddy as 'mommy' and, surprisingly, he found that he quite liked it.

"Rachel" he said, half in amusement and half in exasperation "that's naughty, you know what mommy said about playing with her makeup!" Rachel pouted and put the bright red lipstick on the floor. "Go on downstairs" he told her "and, by the way, I'd docking your pocket money this month."

When Rachel had gone, House called Benjamin over to him to assess the damage. All around Benjamin's mouth was bright red lipstick; he had blue eye shadow over the top half of his face and lines of black eye liner everywhere. "Dada" Benjamin giggled as he was picked up and carried through to the bathroom where every trace of makeup was removed and left his face bright red but clean.

Benjamin may know how to talk and often liked to have conversations with his dad but he spent most of his time silent with a smile stretched across his face, only asking for things when he wanted them. "Where is Uncle Chase?" He asked.

"On his way" House informed him as he walked back down the stairs "with Uncle Wilson, Foreman, Taub and Thirteen."

"Is Towel bringing Sophie and Sophia?"

"Yes" House grunted, unamused at the fact that his house was soon going to have two more children who were older than his son but mentally only one third of his age. It was going to be dull and monotonous but, for some reason, Benjamin had taken quite a liking to the girls. He also referred to Taub as 'Towel' because he misheard and translated it into something that he could understand; Lisa refused to let House correct him, saying that he was just a kid and that it's nice that he misunderstands some things. "No pushing your fingers up Taub's nose, ok?"

Benjamin frowned "but it's funny."

"I know it's funny but mommy will get mad."

"Why will I get mad?" Lisa asked as they walked into the front room "and why is his face all red?"

"If he pushes his fingers up Taub's nose and because Rachel used your makeup to make him into a girl."

Cuddy's face went red as she turned to glare at her daughter who was looking, rather sheepishly, at her shoes. "Rachel Cuddy" she said angrily "what have I told you about playing with mommy's make up?"

"Daddy already docked my allowance!" The little girl whined just as the doorbell rang.

"You're going to bed early tonight" Lisa told her as House went to answer the door "and you don't get to choose what movie we watch tomorrow either!"

"That's not fair!" Rachel wailed as tears began pouring down her cheeks.

"Maybe you'll remember that the next time you decide to play with mommy's things! Now go to your room, I'll come and get you when I think you're sorry."

"But I am sorry!"

"Rachel" Cuddy said in a warning tone "your bedroom, now."

Once Rachel had stomped off up the stairs, making as much noise as she possibly could before banging her bedroom door shut, Chase said "come at a bad time, have we?" Chase was somewhat besotted by Benjamin; the boy intrigued him. How could an offspring of House be so damn adorable?

Benjamin was also besotted by Chase; he liked him because he got down on his level and played with him. Buys him toys and makes silly noises which entertains him. Chase was fun.

"Just a little mishap with my makeup" Cuddy sighed before getting up "drinks?" She offered before heading into the kitchen with Wilson who volunteered to help her.

"Benny!" Chase grinned as Benjamin shuffled off House's lap and ran at the Australian with his arms open. Chase caught up and lifted him above his head, making the child scream in excitement.

"Wow" Foreman stated, taking a seat and watching Chase play with the baby "well done House, he's one year old and he's still alive! However did you manage it?"

"Oh ha, ha" House replied sarcastically.

"Seriously, the kid's a delight" Thirteen nodded "surprising really."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Growled her boss.

"Well, you're not exactly a bundle of laughs" Taub nodded, depositing his three year old daughters on the floor.

"Ah, give the guy a break" Chase laughed.

"I do not need an overgrown child defending me" House told him, somewhat jealous of the way Benjamin seemed to idolise Chase.

"Awh" Chase grinned at House "don't worry, I'm not going to steal your baby. He's just not as boring as most kids his age."

A knock on the door ended that conversation as House went to answer it.

Through the frosted glass, House could see someone with dark hair holding a child. He smiled to himself before opening the door. Allison Cameron had moved back to New Jersey, after the breakup of her recent marriage, with her eighteen month old son, David. House thought that it would be nice to invite her over for a reunion. "Hi" she smiled at him when she opened the door and peered in to the hallway "this is a nice change to your apartment. You still living with Wilson?"

"Nah, we got divorced but I got to keep the house."

She smiled a little wider before going in for a hug in which House accepted. Despite everything, he'd missed her. "Oh, this is David. Say hi, sweetie."

"Hi, Sweetie." House replied.

"Hi" the boy said before hiding her face into his mother's shoulder.

"He's a little shy around strangers" she explained.

David had brown hair, the same shade as Cameron's, and green eyes. "Come in" House said "everyone's in the front room."

"Everyone?" Cameron frowned "who's everyone?"

When he didn't reply, she had no choice but to follow him into the house. Cuddy and Wilson, who were just coming back with drinks, met them halfway. "Cameron?" Cuddy frowned, looking confused "what are you doing here?"

"House invited me over." She replied, looking equally as confused

"No, I meant here, in New Jersey."

"Oh" Cameron grimaced "things didn't work out with me and Kyle so I came back to the only place that I've ever felt at home. This is David and _you_" she gawked at Cuddy's pregnant stomach "are pregnant!"

Cuddy smiled "two weeks off 9 months. We're very excited, aren't we, House?"

House nodded "yup, don't know if the kids got a hole or a spout yet so we're not sure whether to put the crib in with Benjamin or Rachel."

"What! You two are together? Congratulations!" Cameron grinned "I'd hug you but-"

"Oh" Cuddy looked down at the tray of drinks "yeah, come on through and say hi to the others."

"Hi, Allison" Wilson smiled "nice to see you again."

"And you, Wilson! Uhm…" she frowned "who's Benjamin?"

"House's son."

"So I leave and everything happens?" She states looking annoyed that she missed all of this.

Wilson shrugged "so it seems; telling you though, you'd never know that Benjamin is related to House…well, apart from his eyes and intellect; the kid is an absolute delight."

"How old is he?"

"One year, that's why we're all here; this is his first birthday party."

The return of Cameron went down a hit with everyone, including Chase even if he was a bit reluctant about her arrival at first and David hit it off with Benjamin, Rachel (who'd been allowed to join the party before Benjamin opened his presents) and the Taub girls.

"You're seriously telling me that Ben is only a year?" Cameron asked Chase, watching her ex-husband play with the birthday boy.

Chase nodded, grinning "he's impressive, isn't he?"

"He's cute" she nodded "didn't think House could create anything that I'd actually like to babysit."

"I know exactly what you mean but Benjamin seems to have inherited the good from House and the good from his mother. You know House is already teaching him how to play the piano?"

Cameron scoffed a little at that last part but, after what she'd seen today, didn't dismiss it as an exaggeration. "So where is the mother?"

Chase looked down at Benjamin, who was sitting on his lap playing happily with a set of picture cards Foreman had given to him, before mouthing "dead."

"Oh no!"

"Apparently she left the package" he nodded at Benjamin "with the boss and then kicked the bucket." He was trying to explain it in a way that wouldn't alert the child to the subject they were talking about. He may only be a year old and incredibly and undeniably cute but he still understood a lot more than he ought to at this age.

"How?"

"House thinks that it was a choice that had been made rather than an accident."

"That's so horrible" Cameron sighed "does he have any idea why?"

Chase shook his head "had no contact with her until the package was delivered and even then it was just a note. Oh well, the way I see it is that she gave House an amazing gift and it's mellowed him a little. He's still a sarcastic, manipulative…person…but he almost acts sorry when he's in the wrong."

"You mean when he gets caught?" She grinned. "He looks happy; to be honest, I never really saw him as a family man and now, here he is, with a pregnant partner, a house, two kids and one on the way. Proved me wrong, didn't he?" She paused for a moment before asking "how is he with Benjamin and Rachel?"

"I would honestly like to tell you that he's terrible; that he's unreasonable and horrible to them like he is to us but…I can't because he's fantastic. He absolutely adores Benjamin and Rachel has him wrapped around her little finger _and_ both kids love him. Rachel calls him 'daddy'."

"Was it funny in the beginning?"

"Absolutely hilarious." Chase laughed loudly, making Benjamin jump and almost fall to the floor but Chase caught him and set him up right again. "He came in to work ridiculously early one morning with this tiny baby strapped to his chest with duct tape; we were all convinced that he'd stolen him from maternity! Anyway, we had a competition to determine who got to change Benny's first ever diaper, with us that is, and Taub dosed House with ipecac and he hurled on my shoes and made a complete mess of his office then, as payback, House dosed Taub with sleeping pills and laxatives…it was so funny. He wasn't too keen on the baby at first but he grew to love him; watching Wilson try to get him to find a day care was almost impossible to watch. House obviously didn't want to be parted from him and watching him battle through the first through days whilst Ben was at day care was almost heart breaking."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, he pulled a lot of pranks that week…"

**~ The epic prank played on Wilson…according to Gregory House ~**

**…Though Wilson still refuses to agree…**

House had a feeling that he'd forgotten something and, every so often, he had to remind himself that he hadn't forgotten anything, Benjamin was at day care and he was missing him.

"It's natural to be missing him" Wilson told him as he took a pot of pills from his pocket, shook two into his hand and threw them into his mouth "you've taken him everywhere with you since you got him. I'd be worried if you _weren't_ missing him."

"Who says I'm missing him?" House replied "he's nothing but an eating, pooping, sleeping, crying machine!"

"The pout of your face" he raised his eyebrows at his best friend and smirked "it's _normal_ to feel this way, I promise."

House growled as he watched his friend pop two more pills. "Are you trying to OD yourself on vitamins?" He asked "because I'm telling you now, you're going to be doing a lot of shitting before you take enough to kill yourself."

"It's pain medication for my headache" Wilson told him "but they're not working."

"Oh" his mouth twitched a little as he tried to hold back a smile before turning on his heel and leaving the office.

Later on that day, Wilson was seeing to one of his new patients. Twenty three year old female was suspected breast cancer. "I don't feel anything" Wilson told her, massaging the woman's breasts, trying to find the lump she'd told him she'd found "but I'll send you for a scan just to make sure."

"It was definitely there this morning" she told him "the right one."

Wilson focused his attention to her fight breast, gently feeling around for any kind of abnormality. He was just about to tell her that he couldn't feel anything there when he did feel something abnormal…but not in her breast. A familiar tightening in his trousers told him something that he really didn't want to know and a swift look down at his crotch told him that he was in trouble.

"What?" The woman asked, sensing that something was wrong "did you feel something?"

"Not there I didn't" Wilson grunted as he tried to work out why he had an erection but didn't feel in the slightest bit turned on. "Look, I-"

"Are you ok? Your face has gone red."

"Fine, just fine" he told her quickly, edging toward the door "let me-"

"Oh my God!" She pointed at his trousers and gawked at his highly obvious erection before she too blushed. "I didn't know you felt about me that way, Doctor Wilson."

"I don't!" He told her "I mean, you have very nice breasts, I mean-" he growled again and slapped a hand to his face before shaking his head "I'll put you in for a scan, someone should come and get you. In the meantime, you can wait here."

He left the examination room quickly and headed for his office where he found House lounging on the couch looking rather smug. "Feeling a little _tight_ today?" He asked Wilson "in need of a little _rub_?"

"HOUSE!" Wilson shouted feeling more than a little embarrassed "I am going to _kill _you!"

**~ Back to Chase reminiscing about the story ~**

"What are you two lovebirds talking about?" House asked, walking back into the room with mugs of coffee.

"I was just telling Cameron about the first few months with Benny" Chase replied, still grinning.

"Well" House smiled proudly "I have it all on tape if you want to watch it."


	9. Part 8

"It's nice that House gave you your job back" Taub said to Cameron as they took the elevator together.

Cameron looked at Taub and laughed "House didn't. Cuddy hired me as his assistant just so she'd get the paperwork in on time."

"Oh" he frowned "but you'll still be our fifth man…well, woman. Will be nice to have another perspective."

"I'm glad you see it that way" she smiled "but I was purely hired as his assistant."

Taub chuckled quietly as they stepped out and walked along to House's office "yeah, and that worked out so well the first time."

When they walked into the office everyone, apart from House, was already at the table. "Where's House?" Taub asked as Cameron went through to the main office and started on the paperwork.

"Late as per usual" Chase replied "but we don't have a case again so-"

The phone cut him off. "Foreman" Foreman answered, putting it on loudspeaker.

"_Be still my bleeding hearts_" House's familiar drawl said "_I'm going to be late but I'm bringing the most important part of the team with me._"

Everyone looked around at each other in confusion.

"But everyone's already here" Chase told him.

"_Not everyone; anyway_" he continued "_if you don't want to do clinic duty then find a case or make one up. See you in five, bitches._" The line went dead.

"Who's he bringing with him?" Taub asked "we're all here and those who aren't are dead."

Chase shrugged "I don't know but I really don't want to be stuck downstairs wiping boogers so…" he turned to the tiny pile of cases that had been sent up. Even though they'd looked through all three of them and diagnosed without even needing to see the patients they still needed to choose one.

"I suggest we go for HIV guy" Thirteen replied "the other two are definite diagnosis and this is the only one we can justify running more tests on."

"HIV guy it is" Foreman sighed, picking up the file and leaving the office with the others following closely.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"Cuddy, Benjamin has to come in with me today; the day care is closed for the day."

"_What! Why?_" Lisa Cuddy asked over the loud speaker

"Burst water pipe."

She groaned audibly down the phone before sighing "_Do you know how long for?_"

"All they said was that they're trying to get it fixed by tomorrow but it depends on what's wrong with it so, my dear, I'm afraid I don't know."

"_Fine, ok, but this can't be a regular thing, House. Today is fine…we'll see about tomorrow._" She hung up.

House turned to look at his son, who was playing with his favourite toy tiger (Steve), and said "you hear that, Benny boy? You're spending the entire day with daddy."

"And Uncle Chase?" Benjamin asked

Rolling his eyes, House turned his focus back on the road and said "yes, unfortunately Chase _will_ be there."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

When House walked into the reception, carrying Benjamin, all of the female nurses and some of the male ones, all stopped what they were doing and went to greet the boy. They all loved him because, just like everyone else, they found him to be such a delight to be around…unlike his father who was like a thunderous raincloud ready to rain on your parade with his sarcasm and wit.

Gregory House looked at all of the women who were now surrounding him and cooing at his son. Eight months or so ago this would have been some kind of heaven for him but now it was just irritating. "Before you all decide to steal my son" he said loudly "I think that you'd like to know that he has explosive diarrhoea and vomiting."

As if in slow motion, everyone stared up at him and then backed off; heading back toward their stations and patients.

Cuddy caught up with him as he stepped into the elevator "was that true or were you just trying to get them to back off?" She asked

"I never lie" he replied simply "I didn't actually specify which 'he' I was talking about; I'm sure that there's someone of the male gender who's unfortunate enough to be experiencing that kind of ailment today." House frowned at his partner for a moment, taking in her size and wondering why on earth she was still working when she was only weeks away from giving birth. "Why are you here?" He asked.

"Uh" she frowned, taken aback by his change of topic "I work here…"

"Well duh" he rolled his eyes "you're due soon; when are you going on maternity leave?"

"_Oh_" Cuddy smiled "if all goes to plan then next week." She turned to smile at Benjamin, who'd been singing quietly to himself, before noticing what House had dressed him in today "why on _earth_ is he dressed as Charlie Chaplin?"

"Oh, yeah" House laughed and rolled his eyes "funny story that. I _told _him that he could dress himself and-"

"Those are his best clothes, House!"

"I think that you're forgetting whose child he is" House raised his eye brows "Cuddy, when has he been known to make any kind of mess? He's almost OCD about cleanliness. Aren't you, bud?" He looked down at Benjamin just in time to catch his hygiene conscious one year old with his finger up his nose.

"Nice" Cuddy sighed as the elevator doors dinged open.

"_Oh_" Taub stated as House walked into the outer office and flung his bag at Chase "you meant the baby. We should have known."

"Who else would I mean?"

"Maybe someone who can actually help diagnose a patient rather than a one year old with his finger up his nose."

House looked at Benjamin who _still_ had his finger up his nose and sighed "you're not really helping your case here, Benji" he told him before setting him down on the floor and leaving him to do his own thing. "Which patient did you choose?"

"HIV guy" Thirteen replied "we sent the other two home."

"Huh" he nodded, surprised that they'd come to the same conclusion he had. The other two were definite diagnosis whereas HIV guy could at least have more tests run on him to rule out any underlying cause of his symptoms.

"Was that wrong?" Asked Chase.

"No" he got up and said "watch Einstein" before leaving the room.

"By Einstein-" Taub started

"He meant Benjamin" Foreman confirmed.

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"I know that your team don't have a case right now" Cuddy told House, later that evening, as they readied themselves for bed "you can't keep avoiding clinic duty."

House sniggered "you said doodie."

"Oh grow up!" She sighed, heading into the bathroom. "You have till the end of this week to find a _real _case" she called through "then, if you haven't found one, I'm putting you and your team on clinic duty until you do."

Rolling his eyes, House called back "but we do have a case! HIV guy may have Lupus."

"He has a cold!"

"Still might be Lupus!"

"It's _not_ Lupus!" Cuddy shouted

"You're right" House sighed "it's never Lupus."

"House" she called.

"Fine, Lisa, I'll find a proper case."

"No, House-"

Her tone made him rethink his next comeback. It reminded him of the time she'd noticed blood in her urine and had to undergo tests to rule out cancer. He felt his heart drop. "What?" He hurried, as quickly as his leg would let him, into the bathroom and found his partner sitting on the floor with a pool of fluid beside her.

She looked up at him with her big eyes and said "I think the baby's coming…now." House stared in shock at her, just for a moment, before he snapped into action. Pulling out his cell, he rang for an ambulance and then paged Wilson before sitting down next to Cuddy.

"Are you alright?" He asked her softly.

"It hurts" she told him breathlessly "but it's bearable…for now."

"What do you need?"

"You" Cuddy stated, taking his hand "I just need you, House."

He kissed her forehead and smoothed down her hair "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise me that you won't freak out and leave."

House stared at her for a moment before nodding "I promise you that, this time, I'm sticking to you like glue."

Lisa seemed to relax a little at his words and she leaned against him, squeezing her eyes shut as she panted against the waves of pain. This baby was coming quickly and she was scared. "I'm scared" she whispered "what if something's wrong?"

"Everything will be fine" House assured her even though he was worried about the same thing. She was far along enough for the baby to be born healthy but that didn't mean that there would be no complications with a premature birth. "The baby is obviously just ready to come out now. It'll be fine." He repeated, more for his sake, he realised, than hers.

It felt like a life time had passed before he heard someone unlock the front door, open it and shut it before hurrying up the stairs and, eventually, finding them in the bathroom. "What's going on?" Wilson asked as he took in the scene before him.

"Baby's coming" House told him as Cuddy groaned. "We need you to be here for the kids."

Wilson nodded "of course. Is there anything I can do to help? Anything you need?"

House shook his head "just need the ambulance to arrive now." And, not two minutes later, it did.

Fifteen minutes later Lisa Cuddy was in a private room in delivery, hooked up to machines and pain meds. The baby had been checked; the heart rate was normal, the position was normal…everything looked fine…which set the couple's minds at ease.

"Baby is coming now" the midwife announced "so, whether you're ready or not, you'll be going home with an extra mouth to feed."

It was all happening far too quickly for House; this time yesterday he still had a couple of weeks until the baby was due and now he had an hour or so…at the most but, as he'd promised, he stayed at Cuddy's bedside the entire time because, no matter how he felt, he wasn't going to miss experiencing the birth of his second child.

"It's a girl!" The midwife announced before handing the screaming, squirming, very pink baby to a nurse for a couple of quick tests.

"A girl" Cuddy sighed, smiling and exhausted but looking as beautiful as the day House first laid eyes on her.

He nodded and kissed her before the world shook beneath him and he was consumed by darkness. Cuddy watched as House blacked out, face planted her mattress, bounced off it and landed sprawled on the floor.

"Oh my God!" She squeaked, slapping a hand to her mouth before feeling a laugh escape from her lips as he was picked up, placed on a gurney and wheeled out. He'd promised he that he wouldn't leave her side and he'd stuck to it; Lisa came to the conclusion that, because he'd been trying so hard _not_ to freak out that the moment they knew that everything was fine his brain finally gave in but it was all too much thus leading him to black out.

She found it quite hysterically funny.


	10. Part 9

**AN: Just to say that I made a small edit to the previous chapter; it was pointed out to me that a large amount of blood would mean that there was something wrong...a fact that I knew and meant to change before the chapter was published but, because I'm absent minded, I completely forgot. Anyways, it's changed now so thanks to the guest who pointed it out!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little lighthearted and House is in a good mood despite the embarrassing event of passing out.**

**Don't forget to review, your opinions mean a lot and they really encourage me.**

**Oh, and just to say (in reply to a guest review: ****Cute story, but really 5years ahead! Not remotely realistic plus good chance any house 's***' compromised due to his drug use / a!cohol abuse. Bit more realism would make story more enjoyable.) - Thank you for your review and I understand what you're saying but your theory is false. I know for a fact that, even though drug and alcohol abuse can affect fertility, it doesn't in some cases as my uncle was worse than House and managed to father a number of children and also had grandchildren. Also, there's nothing wrong with it being five years on; I think that you're just picking fault for the sake of picking fault. Anyway, my advice to you is that if you don't like my writing then don't read it. Thanks again and I hope that you find a story that you approve of. **

**I always welcome constructive criticism and opinions...just make sure that they're valid though otherwise you might end up embarrassing yourself. Just remember though that a negative review can have a negative affect on the writer so, if you do criticise someone's writing then be careful how you phrase it. (:**

**Thanks again! **

"Are you ok?" Cuddy asked, trying to stifle a laugh as Greg walked back into her room, a little sheepishly, sporting a black eye and bruised nose. It had been almost half an hour since the delivery of their daughter and she'd been laughing, on and off, as the memory of her partner face planting her bed played round and round in her head like a stuck record.

He frowned, winced when his frown caused his nose to throb and then grunted. "I'll live through this endless embarrassing experience which you will no doubt remind of whenever you want me to do something for you."

"Oh, come on, I wouldn't do that to you" she assured him before pausing and correcting herself with "well, not much."

House chuckled darkly before sitting down beside her and running his hand through her hair. She was beautiful; tired, sweaty, smelly and bloodied but absolutely radiant. Her happiness was so hard to ignore, it settled around her like a glowing aura of energy and, even though he'd humiliated himself, it put a smile on his face. "Hey" he whispered, changing the mood of the room entirely "I love you."

Lisa closed her eyes as he pressed his lips to hers. She loved it when he said those words to her because they meant so much more coming from a man who struggles with expressing emotion but he was trying so hard for her. "I love you" she repeated softly.

"So" he pulled back but his eyes never left her face "do I get to meet our new little money trap?"

"Of course" she replied, surprised that, just for a moment…distracted by the affection House was showing her…she'd forgotten that she'd just given birth. She sat up and reached into the bassinette, on the other side of her to House, and gently picked up the sleeping baby who was wrapped in a soft pink blanket. Lisa automatically straightened out the white hat that the nurses had placed on the head of her new born daughter before passing her over to House who, with a tender touch, took her in his arms and stared down at his second child.

The baby was shrivelled, pink and resembled something like the creature Gollum but she was beautiful, just like her mother, perfect in every way and he was in awe of her. House knew that, without even having to think about it, he would do whatever he could to protect this child, to make sure that she's happy and cared for and loved. He knew that, this little girl, like her brother and Rachel, would claim his heart forever. He loved her so much that it hurt.

Lisa watched him, almost overwhelmed by how fascinated he was by their new baby; he stared at her with so much love that it brought a lump to her throat. "I was thinking about names" she stated softly.

"No way are we calling her Joy" House replied, his eyes never wavering from his daughter's face. "Or Meredith."

"I went off the name Joy a long time ago, Greg" Cuddy informed him "and I've never liked Meredith." She chuckled and shook her head before saying "I wanted to know what names you liked?"

"Me?" House frowned, surprised by the fact that he was being asked this question. Men aren't like women, they don't spend half of their lives deciding on names for their future children…House didn't even think he'd ever have children let alone fathering two and becoming a carer for another in the space of eighteen months. It stumped him for a moment but, as he continued to stare down at the girl's perfect button nose, upturned mouth and small ears, only one name came forth in his mind. "Grace" he replied before turning to look at Cuddy.

Grace was beautiful, undeniably perfect, for their new daughter. Lisa Cuddy smiled; she was pleased that he'd come up with a name like this; surprised, of course she was…she thought that he'd come up with something like Jemima, Jemma or Jamie to honour his best friend…but albeit pleased. "Grace" she said, liking how it sounded on her tongue, before beaming at House and nodding "I love it."

House seemed pretty pleased with her reaction and settled lower into his chair, cooing at his child.

"I was thinking" Cuddy said after a minute or two "Rachel calls you daddy."

"Hmm?"

"She sees you as her father and has done for a long time and so I was wondering if you'd like to adopt her? Of course, I adopted her whilst she was still a baby but, I was thinking, if anything happened to me then you wouldn't have any right to her, she'd be taken back into care."

House stared at her, honoured by her suggestion. "You want me to adopt her?" She nodded "of course, yes; how could I say no?" He paused for a moment before saying "and, whilst we're at it, perhaps you could adopt Benjamin?"

"Of course" like House, Lisa was honoured by this suggestion, more for the reason that he was very protective over his son and asking something like that of her meant that he trusted her enough for her to have parental rights to his son.

Sometime later, after Lisa had given in to her exhaustion, someone knocked gently on the door. House looked up just as Wilson popped his head around the door. "Am I alright to come in?" House nodded "and the kids?" He nodded again and watched Wilson, who was carrying Benjamin, lead Rachel into the room.

She ran over to House and hugged him. "You have to be very quiet" he told her "mommy's sleeping."

"Ok" she whispered "daddy, what happened to your face?"

House had momentarily forgotten about his bruised face but now that it had been mentioned again, the dull throbbing, reminding him of the still forming bruise around his eye and nose, returned. "I had a fight with a door" he told her, unwilling to tell a five year old the truth.

She considered this for a moment before pushing it to one side and asking "can I see the baby?"

"Of course you can, Sweetheart, but you have to be very gentle with her; remember when Benjamin was very small and you had to be careful with him" she nodded "you have to do the same with Gracie because she's very fragile, ok?" Rachel nodded again.

"Gracie" Wilson said, watching his best friend as he got up and retrieved the baby from her bassinette "is that what you named her?"

"Grace" House replied, sitting back down and lifting Rachel, with one hand, onto his lap "but I guess she'll be known as Gracie as well."

Rachel stared at her little sister for a moment, just taking her in, before smiling, bending down and kissing her. "She's cute" she stated.

"I know" he agreed "and it's your job, as her big sister, to help your mommy and me protect and take care of her."

"Like I do with Benny?" She asked.

"Exactly like you do with Benny." House told her, kissing the top of her head and taking in the smell of her hair, a mixture of digestive biscuit and cheese. He smiled to himself for a moment as he realised that this was _his_ family, that these were his children and that his entire life revolved around pleasing and loving them.

"House" Wilson said, distracting him from his thoughts "what _really _happened to your face?"

He looked up at Wilson, who was watching him intently, and said, in an attempt to avoid answering the question, "Lisa and I want you to be their god father."

"What?" He asked feeling stunned and forgetting about House's bruised face "House, do you know what you're asking of me?"

He nodded "of course we do; we've talked a lot about it and have made, or will be making, arrangements for if something happens to either one of us but if something happens to both of us then it would make us both happy if we knew that you'd be the one to take care of our children."

"Wow" Wilson stated, sitting down on the couch and resting Benjamin on his lap "that's…of course I will, Greg, wow…yes, of course!"

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

Lisa Cuddy awoke to find that Rachel and Benjamin had arrived and were now snuggled up on House's lap; all three of them sound asleep. Rachel was tucked, in almost a foetal position, in the crook of House's right arm; one of her hands in her lap and the other holding House's. Benjamin was tucked in the crook of House's left arm with one arm behind his head and the other up to his mouth as he sucked his thumb. It was a joyful feeling, seeing the man she loved, her daughter and his son all sleeping soundly together and it was easy to forget that the small boy, barely one year old, was almost smarter that a full grown man.

"Hi" a voice stated.

She turned her head to see Wilson on the couch, she hadn't spotted him before and he alarmed her for a moment but she smiled at him "hi."

"How are you feeling?" He asked, getting up and perching himself on her bed.

"A little sore" she admitted "but really good."

"That's good" Wilson nodded "and soreness is expected given the…err…nature of the event." He then paused and asked the question House had tried to avoid answering "what happened to Greg's face?"

"Oh!" Lisa laughed, shaking her head "he'll never forgive me for telling you this."

"What?" He asked, smiling through his confusion.

"He passed out just after she was born, landed on his face."

House's best friend snorted as he played it out in his head "seriously?"

She smiled and nodded before saying "thanks for looking after the kids."

"You know that it's never an issue" Wilson assured her "they are wonderful children so it's always a pleasure."

Lisa smiled even wider at him for a moment before gesturing at House and the kids "how long have they been asleep?"

"Only about an hour" he replied "Rachel was singing lullaby's to Grace and it must have sent House to sleep, the kids followed quite quickly. Don't worry" he added when Lisa started looking around for her new daughter "I put her back into her bassinette."

Cuddy looked around at the bassinette, where Grace was sleeping soundly, and smiled. It was still hard to believe that this baby was hers, that she wasn't adopted _and _that this beautiful little creature was a product of Gregory House. Her life hadn't taken the path she thought that it would take; she never expected to play house with a man like Greg _especially_ playing house _with_ him. She thought that their romance had ended the moment he'd driven her car into her old home and yet here they were with three children; his, hers and theirs. It would be a dream come true if all three children were biologically linked but that didn't matter because the way things were now, the way the children were with her and House, together and separately, proved that they didn't have to be linked to be a family and maybe that was better?

It was also hard to believe that she'd just given birth because she'd given up long ago the dream of conceiving and bearing her own child. The trouble that she'd experienced before, with IVF, was now just a horrible memory, locked in the past, and her patience had paid off. House had not only ended up being her dream man but he ended up giving her the dream that she'd all but given up on.

Her family was a beautiful one and she loved being a part of it.

She sighed contently to herself before reaching out and touching House's hand, the one that was supporting Rachel, jerking him awake. "Hey" she whispered.

"Hi" he smiled, adjusting his position a little.

"I'll, erm, leave you to it" Wilson said, getting up from the bed and stretching his arms.

Lisa had almost forgotten that he was there but she stopped him "no, wait, we wanted to talk to you about something."

"I already told him" House informed her "he accepted."

"Of course I did, I'm honoured that you trust me enough to even consider it." Wilson said.

She smiled, a little disappointed that House hadn't waited for her but not really surprised "you were the first person on our lists and so, naturally, we asked. I'm glad you accepted."

"In the nicest way possible" James Wilson said as he headed for the door "I really hope that I never have to act upon it. Rest up, Lisa, I'll come back later."

**~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~House~**

"'Today is your lucky day'" Taub read once the rest of the team entered the outer office "for you, my little group of mixed race Nazi's, have a snow day! Do with it as you please.'"

"What?" Thirteen frowned "is that from House?"

"No signature on the bottom" replied Taub "but, from the tone of the letter, I'd guess that it is."

"Wonder what he's doing" Foreman stated.

"Who cares" Chase grinned, putting his jacket back on "he's given a day off; that's one motive I tend _not _to question."

"Yeah but that's because it rarely ever happens" Foreman told him "something must be wrong."

"Or right?" Suggested Thirteen, taking a sip from the contents of her take-away coffee cup. "House rarely takes personal days so either he or Benjamin is sick-"

"No" Chase interjected "House would come in anyway; Cuddy literally has to put him under house arrest to keep him at home. You should know that by now."

"True" she nodded "maybe he's hauled up in bed having sex? He's done that before."

"But that's a hand written note" Taub pointed out "he wouldn't come in just to write a note then go back home which means that he's here somewhere."

"In with Wilson?" Foreman suggested.

"Possibly" Chase agreed, resigning himself to the fact that he did actually want to know what was going on "either way, I bet he knows what's going on; let's go and ask him."

The team all walked toward James Wilson's office, Thirteen and Foreman in the lead, and entered without bothering to knock, a trait they'd picked up from their boss. Wilson looked up, from his paperwork, in surprise and frowned as he said "hi, can I help you or am I in the wrong office?"

"House has given us a day off" Thirteen told him.

"And you're going to spend it in here? I'd rather you didn't."

"No, we want to know what's going on" Foreman replied. "Is he ok?"

Wilson stared at the four for a moment before setting down his pen and sitting back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. "So, House gives you a day off and you're more concerned about his welfare?"

"Well, yes" Taub nodded "he _never_ gives us a day off."

"You haven't had any cases for a while, maybe he's just being nice to get you out of clinic duty?"

Chase snorted "being nice? You do know that this is House we're talking about, right?"

"Look" Thirteen sighed "we know he's here, we just want to know why he's here but _not_ here."

Wilson rolled his eyes before nodding "fine, ok; he's up in maternity. Lisa went into labour last night."

Thirteen's eyes widened. They'd never even considered that this might be the case because she wasn't due for another couple of weeks. Fearing the worst as she stared at him, really taking him in. He had slight purple bruising under his eyes, meaning that he hadn't slept well and that he was tired; he had a 5 o'clock shadow which meant that he hadn't shaved this morning and he was wearing the same shirt and pants that he'd worn yesterday. Her stomach dropped as she dared to ask "is she ok?"

"She gave birth to healthy baby girl just one hour after going into labour" Wilson told them "they're both absolutely fine."

The tension in the office lifted immediately as the team let out their breath's they'd been absently holding as they awaited his answer. "Do you think they'll mind if we go and see them?" Chase asked.

Wilson shrugged "don't know unless you try; Cuddy will be fine but House…" he grinned as he remembered that House had a bruised face and _why _it was bruised "yeah, go and say hi. House is rarely ever in a good mood, he might even tell you about the fight he had with a door."

Thirteen, Foreman, Taub and Chase stared at Wilson as though he'd gone mad before leaving his office, shutting the door behind him.

Once he was alone, Wilson chuckled to himself and sighed as he imagined what the look on Gregory House' face would be like when Cuddy revealed the true reason behind his injuries.


End file.
